shower with love;

active'

2010-05-03T19:26:00.003+08:00

Wont be updating more in blogger.

oh ♥; videos;

2010-02-08T22:30:00.009+08:00

OK, been updating livejournal for quite some time now. I was browsing through th videos in my lappy &i was laughing so hard when i watched some of th videos. Recorded live &uncut. Will update two of them here. Its funny, or is it just me? Oh whatever.
We turned 9 yterday. Indeed we've been holding on strong. I love you Ayim! You're nt th first but i'm sure you're th last! May th upcoming mnths/yrs will be a delightful journey for us. Coming up: Our two digit mnthsary &our birthdays! I really hpe i'll get enough savings just in time to buy for you your birthday present. There's going to be a plan B if i hadnt had enough money in my account or i'm still unemployed, hpefully it'll make you a happy man on that day although its going to be a belated one. &All thnks to that ns of yours, i'll be spending my birthday alone too. Friends or whoever, come book me on my birthday, i'm still free! Ok nobody cares.
I MISS ♥, 5more days to bookout! Oh my.

accomplished.

2010-01-24T22:11:00.008+08:00

Projects down, exams coming. Cn life get even more boring? Whatever.

I've just updated livejournal &nw i'm here to update blogger. Why do i have much more time to spare? All thnks to ayimbby as i'm right here killing time of waiting for him to settle all his stuff. &why do i have two space to rant, three perhaps? Livejournal is for all random short updates, blogger is for image uploads+he prefers i update in here, while onsugar is to upload videos. Just for entertainment i suppose? OK done.

&When boredom strikes . . . . .

Livejournal; 8th mnthsary;

2010-01-07T18:01:00.001+08:00

I've been updating my LIVEJOURNAL for th past wk. Nt that i want to delete blogger, its just that i feel i need a new space for th brand new yr. Heck, i still love blogger's multiple add photos. I'll still update here.
&&HAPPY 8TH MNTHSARY TO IQAYIM, HPE TH FUTURE WILL BE A BLAST.
xoxo.

gdbye 2009;

2009-12-31T03:38:00.012+08:00

Oh well, after much thought on what to rant in th blog post. Sorry for not updating due to th fact that i was plain lazy, hell yes. Since 2010 is a day away, i shall summarised abt th memories in 2009, indeed it makes me a better person.

Firstly, its my first time getting th experience of working to earn my own pocket money. &Oh my nets will never get empty during that period of time, unlike nw. Its also th time whre i found th colleagues of my own, it will never be bored working with them arnd. I still miss those times. Indeed i realised that working is quite a tough, boring thing to do. To earn money is far more difficult &tiring. So i guess i need to learn to cutdwn on spending &only buy th things that i need most. Nw, all i need to do is to focus more on earning a great GPA for myself. I dontwant to disappoint my parents &those arnd me. Putting me into poly is such a big sacrifice to their income. So long as i cn continue studying, i'll just will.

Secondly, i've gotten my disappointing Olvl's result. Although i get th opportunity to get into poly, i'm still unhappy due to th fact that i cant get into masscommunications. But heck, like what my mother always says: "Be thankful on what god has given to you, everything happens for a reason." On a brighter note, i get to meet new friends. Life would be different w/o even knwing them. I tend to be more appreciative in life nw, coz' you might never knw what will happen next. I regret in nt realising this earlier. As a result, i tend to take my grandmother's presence for granted. &nw she had already passed on 6mnths before, i wished i had spend more time with her when shes arnd. But it has happened, i hpe shes doing just fine,

Thirdly, i miss getting myself exposed to th outside world. Meeting new people regardless of genders, getting myself active in th cyberworld. But thankfully, i'm so over it all. Nt that i dontwant to make anymore new friends, ofcourse it will be loved. Its just that i decided to get closer to th ones i already knw &love th people who will always be thre. Dear friends &family in particular. I want to leave those unpleasant things behind, i want to start over.

Fourth, i experienced ayimbby's growth frm a boy to becoming a man. Its my first time having a boyf serving NS, i'm just glad that i could be thre to experience his enlistment &POP. Having to give him support nt to giveup easily &always be thre for him 24/7, i'm glad to be part of his life. Nt only that, being with him has increased my maturity level. I've changed, yes alot.

&Lastly, i found my only true love. Hes th one who makes me realised that i cn start to fall in love again w/o fear. Th past experiences was such a disaster, but he proves to me that nt all th guys are th same. His understanding, his loyalty &his honesty makes th feelings grow deeper. He never fails to put a smile on my face, he never complains his tiredness whenever i ask him to meet &on top of that, he never makes me feel lonely again. I really am thankful that he always makes me feel secure &never did he forget to cherish &love me more each day. Indeed i'm just proud to be his only.

Je taime, Muhammad Ibrahim Bin Jurahel !

2010 will be a much better year. Aiming a higher GPA, getting a part-time job, 1st yr anny with ayimbby+his 21st+my 18th, passing my BTT+FTT+TP, 1yr to his ORD, him passing class2+driving course, loving ayimbby more &more each day, understand ayimbby's situation better, us getting more &more closer+spending as much time as possible eventhough th hectic schedule, meeting th friends more. Th list goes on &on.

So, gdbye 2009! I'm burying those memories away.

Oh hello 2010, out with gfs &overnight with bby later.

xoxo~

Hold my hand;

2009-12-17T22:51:00.010+08:00

" We come to love not by finding a perfect person,

but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. "
- Sam Keen

Oh bwoy! Its halfway through december &this is th first post for th mnth. Life's kind of hectic, what do you expect? With tests, silly arguments &outings, its all th same old routine everyday, nothing interesting either. Holidays are here, it would be such a bore as th time is needed to complete a total of 5projects. I'm sure i'm gonna enjoy this holiday, heck. I want to go swimming with bby again! I want to watch avatar &new moon! I want to shop for more things to junk in my closet! I want my hair to grow long so i could perm it! I want more &more outings! I want to go on a holiday! I want to play rollercoaster &merry-go-round! I want to dance like nobody's business! I want to lose tons of weight! I want to spend more time with bby all night long! I want to meet &catchup with th girls like sooner! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Come quick wkends! Come quick christmas! Come quick brand new year! Oh well. Now i need to stop, seriously.
Okay. I guess this is th end of th post, nothing else to brag about. I'll update if there's an urgent to it. I'm plain lazy, thats my nature. Goodnight oh blogger;

le amo ayimbby! <3
http://beautifulmemories.onsugar.com/6696051

new leaf;

2009-11-30T21:50:00.005+08:00

MIYAQI <333

I see you and you see me
There's only one thing this could be
I think you know just what I mean
When I'm with you I feel so free
And I love you
And I hope you love me too
And I need you
And I hope you need me too
Baby, I just hope that you know
To never let me go
Cause when it comes to forever
We should be together
When we meet up the whole world stops
The music's loud, our temperature drops
It seems like they're all dancing to our beat
Look around, I know you'll see
Its just you and me

- to forever by rachael starr

Ayimbby, i'm sorry for everything. I promise i'll take good care of your heart, i wont let history repeat itself. I knw i've hurt you deep although you hide it deep dwn, i'm truly sorry my dear. You knw i cant leave w/o you, even for just a milisecond. You're all that i have dear, i'll turn over a new leaf. &this time, i'm serious. No more sneaking, no more cheating; its all going to be only you. I love you.

jurong hill;

2009-11-25T16:12:00.002+08:00

A chilling session with bbyboy is all i need to brighten up my entire day, thats really th only reason i've been pulling through all this while. Hadnt been in a greatest mood th past few days, getting way emotional. Really bad till arguments occur. I'm sorry bby, i will manage my anger better in near future. Somehow i feel i did change, for th better/worst? You decide. ILOVEYOU.

reformat, just another night;

2009-11-19T18:04:00.003+08:00

I'm so frust! for th past few days or is it a wk that my laptop is having this software corruption. Oh yes, i had to reformat &everything in my cdrive is gone! My projects, my softwares, my pictures, my music &yes everything! Acer couldnt do anything due to th fact that they dont actually support this problem, even my fingerprint security is gone. I even got a scolding/teasing due to th fact that i was so dumb to save it under cdrive &nt ddrive/thumbdrive/external harddisk. So everyone, pls pls pls dont be stupid like me &save all your crucial documents in cdrive. It sucks totally when all is gone! There goes your hard work! grrrrrrrr.
I have pretty much nothing to say, life's been quite busy. Project, labtests, outings &bbyboy.I will update if i have th time because all these reformat thingy makes me so mad! Ok bye.

short &sweet; what a tuesday!

2009-11-10T22:56:00.006+08:00

Lets make this short &sweet.

I love Ayim &Ayim loves me back.

Ok dah update, Ayim! hehehe.

School? ICA1&ICA2 - CommSkills done! All thnks to bby's help. COS labtest, ICA1 presentation, more &more E-Quizzes nxtwk. I need to buck up! Ok bby, cut dwn night outings pls. I'm serious! hehehe. Fats are expanding arnd my waist &thighs too, annoying indeed. Oh pls bby, stop feeding me alot cn? It'll be your gain too, you would want me to wear that 'nightwear' or bikini &fits so perfectly on me? hehehe.

I really pity bby. He has been stressing himself due to his pimps! &plus th future. Hes just scared that i'll get bored &runaway frm him during his driving course this december which he'll be forced to stay in frm mon-sat. Well what cn i say? He loves me too much, even parting frm me for just a second is already hard for him. Hes just too addicted &paranoid over me? true knkn? But dont worry bby, i wont leave you just yet. Not until i cn be a pillion on your R6 nxtyr! hehehe. You knw our plans in coming years, we've planned it all. Frm our celebration for our bdays, our yearly anny, future bike &car, after your ORD, after my graduation &until mariage etc etc. hahaha, you knw everything is possible. With me arnd, you dont have to worry dear bwoy. i'll be your support &strength to face anything.
iloveyou!

&oh oh, bby bought a new Sony MP4 at mustafa, tkmo action eh eh? Dont prioritize that more than me ok gundu? Spending time with him during a wkday afternoon is so funfunfun. Nxt up, friday! :p

we turn 6!

2009-11-07T22:46:00.004+08:00

http://beautifulmemories.onsugar.com/6124476

To my dearest bwoy,
thankyou for everything. Th laughter, th outings, th love. As days passed by, our love grew stronger. Please stay th way you are coz' i wont trade you for anything else. Three words for you - I love you.
From your beloved.

sch &what else?

2009-11-04T22:30:00.002+08:00

" When we're together/apart,

you're first in my thoughts &first in my heart. "

Olaaaaaa! Due to th fact that bby ask me to update, well i'm clueless on what to post. Really. Going to sch &meeting bby is already a routine. Random meetups with th friends &prata-cheese dinner date with bby, nothing much though. Only that i've more projects to be completed &tests are coming up real soon. &yes, i need to come early for lessons. I've been turning up late for 8o'clock practicals &those teachers are more strict than last semester, they actually didnt mark present for th latecomers! Stupid? i knw. I cant flung this semester just because of attendance. Damn!

On th bright note, lessons end more early than th actual timing. Yterday's 2-last-hr practical is cancelled w/o me knwing. I stayed up for break when actually we cn already head hm, cool? I knw. Plus, OOPP practical lasted for only half-hr instead of 2. Not much things absorbed in my head. Revision mode pls! Hell yes, writing in French is much more difficult than verbal. Hassle.
Ok bye. 2012 coming out nxtwk = a date with bby! iloveyou.

realize; ION pics

2009-10-29T21:16:00.001+08:00

" When you have love, you dont need anything else.
And when you have love, it doesnt matter much what else you have. "
- Sir james M. Barrie

Bonjour everyone! Here i am blogging when i should start researching for my ICA1 comm-skills, that really proves hw addictive blogging is. Th topic is about communication barriers &yes, i dontknw what topic to choose. Frm teacher-student, boy-girl, husband-wife, friend-friend; oh tell me whre should i start? Due date is wk5 &wk2 is ending tomorrow, my aim is to finish it up nxtwk so i cn focus on ICA2-writeup. 500-800words? damn! I failed my eng in Olevel &when i thought essay writing is over, idiot. Tests are coming up in wk5, revision must be done also. No time to lose. Buck up iqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Enough abt school, lets switch to other interesting topic. r'ship? Everything is pretty fine nw. Only sometimes bby sulk over small matters but at th end of th day, he'll stand by me &laughed. Thats hw adorable &irritating he is, still he never fails to put a smile on my face no matter what. Je'taime bby, vous etes mon tout.
I knw this blog is rather dull due to th fact that i've been posting abt school &bby. Yes! I lead a boring yet simple life, indeed my life revolves arnd this two. I rather publicised bby rather than revealing th rest. I need some privacy too, afterall nobody knows myself like i do. I cant possibly blog abt AtoZ, cn i? Ok done. ICA, chinese show, naruto time :)

video;

2009-10-26T22:51:00.001+08:00

http://beautifulmemories.onsugar.com/5857248

sunday evening;

2009-10-26T21:20:00.008+08:00

" If I know what love is, it is because of you. " - Herman Hesse

after a whole long wk of sch &bby's course at smbwng camp, we decided to chill by th seaside. although it ended quite stupid due to bby's phobia of flying cockroaches, overall it was fun. with th wind, th sea &th sunset, indeed we should do this more often. so far sch has been great, minus th fact that i need to wake up early &squeezing myself in th train like sardine every morning. gosh i miss th times whre bby used to send me off everyday. why must ns get into our way? why must ns make us suffer? why why why? but i'm glad we're standing strong as ever. i'll end here, &oh i miss love.

insomnia;

2009-10-18T02:15:00.000+08:00

' You come to love not by finding the perfect person,

but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. ' - Sam Keen

its kinda late nw but heck, i cant sleep. if nw is already considered as sunday, i'm left with only a day before sch resumes. nt in th mood but i need to start studying &crack my tiny little brain before it becomes dead. my few mnths of holiday was rather unhealthy - eating on junks &didnt have th time nor mood to exercise, heck. since i stepped into poly, never did i once head to th gym/jog arnd th neighbourhood. lazy? i rather waste my time on bed with bantal buchok. i had a conversation with brother justnw &i found out he weighs 85kg! &he wants to gain till 100+, amazing i knw. all he did was eat, sleep &workout, minus th time hes in camp. hw relaxing. aslong as eating junkfood makes me happy/contented, i totally love having them daily.

to kill th time, i searched for new songs online. i realised music in my mp4 is rather dated, its been only a few mnths since th last update - thats hw music evolves. i spent my saturday at hm sweet hm - watched back to back drama on tv. boring? indeed. a whole day-out tomorrow with bby, i do miss him. this week is rather bittersweet due to my moodswings, i hpe we'll stay strong. till then.

random - kiki lala;

2009-10-18T02:10:00.005+08:00

was on youtube &i searched for brother. videos frm his bodybuilding - for fun just click :)

National Juniors 2009 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bKOguoKMbY

Muscle Explosion 2009 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87qsjh8wL9c

Muscle War 2009 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-75r8Mp_dWQ

National Juniors 2008 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTiXleMzEsg

hes much more bigger nw, i swear idk why bodybuilding means alot to him - to kill boredom maybe.

insomnia;

2009-10-10T04:20:00.010+08:00

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep,

reality is better than your dreams." - Dr Seuss.

that is exactly what i'm doing right nw, i cant really sleep. nt because i think of him too much, i've been sleeping irregular long hrs &this is just an outcome of it. i want to disturb ayimbby frm sleep, eh wait - is he sleeping? he's hp batt is low &he didnt bring his charger due to th fact that he has a last minute guard duty to attend to justnw. he'll only be back at 7am later, i didnt get to meet nor spend time with him justnw. our plan of eating supper is ruined. i decided to watch naruto &do some catching up but some videos frm th website is being deleted due to copyright infringement, that irritates me. oh well, i'm gonna upload pictures frm last wed outing after he fetched me frm work. gdmorning peeps :)

been so long;

2009-10-09T22:58:00.006+08:00

i miss my girls &

i miss muhammad ibrahim bin jurahel!

♥♥♥

hello ppl. been so long since th last post due to th fact that blogger seems to give me alot of trouble, but i've been updating my onsugar site. and nw everything seems so perfect here, updating wont be a problem then. i realised that eid mubarak is going to an end real soon, nt much visiting have been made. i'm enjoying my nightouts nwadays, but i do miss hanging out in th day. sch will be starting on th 19th &i'm so nt looking forward. mon to wed frm 8to3, thurs 8to5 and fri frm 9to12. its going to be so tiring, i'm so going to have a problem waking up that early. i've been staying up till th sun goes up, i guess i need to change th timing sooner. its th end nw, i'll update if i have th mood/time. till next time :)

hiatus;

2009-08-29T03:28:00.001+08:00

i decided to be on hiatus here, on random occasion i'll be back.
in th meantime; http://www.beautifulmemories.onsugar.com
till then, much love.

wkends; bby.

2009-08-13T22:13:00.001+08:00

3days' of suffering; imy.

&oh, G.I.Joe was awesome!

3days had passed &3more days to go, haiyayo.ayimbby off to fieldcamp &a wk more to go before he bkout, i managed to fill my schedule up by studying &closing up th gap between th family.nw i realised i spent more time outside rather than with th ones at hm, is this hw a teenager behaves?oh well.i miss watching television programmes &hearing th muttons over th radio; all i care nw is to go online &watch naruto/movies/videos over th net.i miss those old routines but ppl do change, dont we?altogether i cancelled 3outings this wk due to studying at hm.i want to pass all upcoming tests with flying colours, i need all th luck wishes i cn get - EG1753 was already a disaster.next up digital electronics, meeting polypockets at 10.30 just to do last minute revision tomorrow.

to wrap up - last sun we went to twn to watch G.I.Joe &ate at breeks instead of watching th fireworks, lastmin changes was made due to th fact that i was damn late! his plan was ditched, i'm sorry.i wont be late again, i'll try my best.its already a habit for me, i knw its bad.i cant wait for september; exciting events coming up.his pop &tp, kl trip, raye, pit, work etc etc.outings outings and more outings! i'm watching chinese show nw &off to sleep.i cant really study again, i revised more than 2hrs justnw.gdnight ppl! :)

mnthsary;

2009-08-07T18:02:00.003+08:00

Happy 3rd mnthsary bbylove!
you knw i love you, you knw ure my everything.
i'm sorry if i've been sneaky behind your back, worrying you hell lot.
dont you worry, you'll still be my only one.
♥

heck; wkends.

2009-07-21T00:07:00.007+08:00

i need to stop all this, heck.

i feel bad, i feel stress, i feel pissed.oh whatever, i cant stick to one.anybody care to give some advice?i have a boyf in th camp serving his NS, at th same time i craved to have someone in th school to be thre.both are equally nice, imperfect souls.but i still keep in touch with a crush frm th past &also doing some catching up with my guyfriends all this while, nw hw?oh whatever.

wkends are spent fruitfully with ayimbby.headed to CCKpark &smbwng park on saturday; twn &henderson waves on sunday.he just left for tekong justnw after sending me off to sch.ok i'm done.3tests coming, focus iqa!

wkends; outings with bbylove

2009-07-14T21:45:00.001+08:00

"I'll wait for you till your very ORD,

ily Muhammad Ibrahim Bin Jurahel"

as promised, i did say i want to upload all th pics for th previous outings.

and and, last sat initial plan to head to th spore flyers was cancelled at th very last minute due to th rain.after treatment-ing my hair at th saloon, we headed to tamp mall to grab a bite at pizza hut.after that, we watched a movie entitled 'th haunting in connecticut'.it wasnt a gd movie, such a waste of time.

oh guess what?bby bought a pair of levis couple watch for our 2nd anny, hw cn i nt love this boy?he bought them on his bookout day last fri on his way hm via cab.never did i expect him to surprise me after my religious class due to th fact that we decided to get them together on sat.i just love him so much, my everything.

First Bkout/AMK Hub;

Escape Theme Park;

Saloon/Surprises/TampOne/PizzaHut;

first post of july;

2009-07-10T00:56:00.008+08:00

ok readers, i'm sorry for th very lack of updates.th interest rate of updating this blog is oh so declining.might as well i shut th blog up right?hmm . . .

a mnth of holidays is packed with outings &activities.nt only that, i just lost my beloved grandmother last june.life have to move on, we ought to be strong right?sch will be starting this monday &oh, i just sat for my very first graphic design written theory exam justnw.it was quite pathetic that i already forgot to draw th colour wheel?haiya.but but, i finished all my projects that are due in three wks' time, i'm so proud of myself.

Muhammad Ibrahim Bin Jurahel;

thnks for th love you've showered &those meaningful times we spent together.with your absence in my life temporary, i realised hw much i need you by my side.still, i'll be strong &wait for your bookout day every wk.you're special, my everything.ilyvvm, my soldierboy!

alot of pictures to update but i'm lazy.escape theme park for advance anny, amk hub watching transformers2, his very first bookout &2nd book in.i cant wait for this sat - a visit to th saloon &spore flyer.i'll upload all th outings' pictures in th next post.

ps: i miss all my gfs! &i'm addicted in watching naruto(:

th missing half;

2009-06-15T18:13:00.010+08:00

3days had passed &alhamdulillah, i'm getting used to ayimbby nt being able to be by my side 24/7.hes been calling at 9:45sharp every night after he finished his training for th day &before he takes a bath.their lights'off will be at 10:30 &thats th time when he'll secretly talked to me via phone.he'll update every single thing &same goes to me with my day.he'll msged me once he woke up or during his free-time, i hpe it'll goes on in times to come.

today's initial plan was to be hm th whole day &start on my website project+revising my EG1746 module.but until nw it has yet to start, thnks to th trial adobe dreamweaver dwnload.it already took my fucking 2hrs &its only 82% done, isshk! i knw i need to start with it by hook or by crook coz' i have 2more projects to be done.but it'll be in a group, it wont be that difficult then..

my wkends was spent at work, helping out at th event's game stalls.mummy will be hm tomorrow, i wont be that alone anymore.

ps: 11more days, ayimbby's first book-out.i'm outta here.

th day;

2009-06-12T19:44:00.006+08:00

th day is finally here.ayimbby is at tekong nw serving his IPPT, 2wks in nt meeting him; i'm so gonna miss him.holidays already started, what am i suppose to do?i want his company, i miss his company.gahhh! i did send him off to tekong justnw, that commander did tell us that those enlistees' will be just fine.his last msg was 2hrs ago, haiya.call me soon, pls. i miss him, cn i?
gonna meet a friend nw, till then.

th pics taken otw to tekong, after that cameras dont really being allowed.

wkends;

2009-06-08T21:16:00.006+08:00

4days to go, i'll be strong.

my wkends are spent fruitfully with ayimbby.frm ECP th whole day on sat, sakura &movie marathon yterday, SSC to shop justnw &rubina to eat, hes been feeding me hell lot of fun in my life &junks in my stomach.school has always been great, tests are just manageable; projects are piling up &common test will be starting after th break.theres no time to lose but, will be enjoying &spending it wisely - balancing when to study &when to relax.i'm counting to th days he'll be far frm sight, i'm going to miss him bad.but look at th bright side, family &friends bonding+studying time.plus, bby has bought his "outdated" phone with only flaslight &nt favourable functions.he also bought a charger whre it will only used up th energy frm "AA" batteries to recharge th phone battery, hw cool is that?ok jacks.CLICK!CLICK!CLICK! e-quiz tomorrow, wish me luck.

1st anny;

2009-06-07T01:19:00.009+08:00

Muhammad Ibrahim Bin Jurahel;

a mnth had passed, ure th bestest thing that had happened to me.th love, th care, th kindness: i'm glad to have knwn u.i cn be a pest, making u worried all th time, bullying u, disturbing u etc.

all i cn say: thnks for being thre all th time, guiding me to th right path, proving me things that i thought i could never believe possible in my life.i'm trying my best to change, to put all my past behind, to love u no matter what.u moved me with ur sincerity, giving me th security, shower me with love &concern: making me change my mindset to mingle.i have mixed feelings then, &prhaps nw.but, i'll try my best to be faithful: sticking to one.ure one in a million, i've realised i only need u in my life: ily my dear.i'll keep my promise, our promise.

with love: iqaa.

oh love;

2009-06-02T20:57:00.003+08:00

have you ever met someone who accepts you for who you are, never did he complained/get irritated over you, tellling u that ur flaws/past didnt matter to him at all and th future is what he cared for &just let th history behind you.to have someone to be thre for 24/7 with just a call away, but he actually dont cntrol ur life at all? its rare, but i did.

12June is th date; he's going off to ns, hw cn i possibly survive?he's always thre to make a wake-up call every morning, sending me to&fro sch w/o fail, meeting me everyday just to hangout at different venues, phone/sms-ing/msn every nw &then, sending me food right at my doorstep; oh god, my life would be so much different with his absence frm my life.pls oh pls give me th strength &courage to face all this, i'm gonna miss him for sure.only those pics remain, oh ibrahim!

lfc;

2009-06-01T23:29:00.004+08:00

bbyku! i'll meet u soon, ily.

oh my gerrard!(:

‘The Kop’ (East Entrance): $88
North Entrance : $88
South Entrance : $88
Grandstand Lower : $88
Grandstand ‘RED’ : $188

It will be free seating for ‘The Kop’, Grandstand Lower, South and North Stand. These can be purchased from 22nd May at all Adidas, Courts stores and Harry’s Bars throughout Singapore.

Purchasing of tickets will be limited to 4 tickets per person.

Ticket sales will be on a first come first served basis.

26th July 2009

Singapore National Team v Liverpool Football Club
National Stadium, Singapore
7.00pm Kick Off (local time)

i want to watch Liverpool LIVE in SG, i cant wait to meet Gerrard &Alonso! hottie.

ayimbby's going to sponsor me to watch this match.$88 is just enough, thnks alot dear! ilysm.hpefully th tickets is available, will be going with th uncle &his friends perhaps.i really cant wait! wooohoooo~

ok bye.

end of th mnth;

2009-05-31T18:30:00.006+08:00

hpe u'll have a safe journey to &fro, grandma.

okays, grandma went to serve her pilgrim yterday for two wks.basically th fam &relatives have a so-called gathering at th airport to send her off.so th initial plan was to go over to th grandparents' hse at bedok but due to th fact that i woke up late, i went straight to th airport with brother.it was such a surprise to see most of th members frm th family tree actually went to send grandma &her siblings.poor grandpa, whom will be all alone by himself at hm.dont do anything stupid alrytey?haha.we even headed to T2 swensens to have our dinner, it was such a spread!

&guess what, this coming tues will be mummy, sis &grandma's turn to go off to Surabaya.i'll be in-charge at hm &also, looking after th two bachelors for two wks.cooking &doing those hseworks, grrrr.hpefully ayimbby could guide me through(:

psssst: all my confusions over th visual basic programming thingy are all answered by my big beloved brother, it isnt that difficult afterall.credits goes to Ahmad Zaki Bin Jama Ludin.i owe him those gigantic enormous time!

i think i'm done here.&oh, say gdbye to sorrowful may &here comes th merry june!

loves.

2009-05-26T00:10:00.006+08:00

"it all turns to memories, a sweet one."

i was reviewing my pictures in my library &thre, i found these photos.i'm starting to miss those times.i remenisced th times when we struggled &mugged for th O's, those are th bestest time of my life.those laughters &joy we shared, th outings nw &then, i miss them all.that's hw time flies, ok gdnight ppl.happy bday asyirin!(:

relieved; confused

2009-05-19T20:16:00.009+08:00

"If its nt meant to be, its gd to let go"

atlast! ICA1&2 for commskills is done, its a relieved.thnks to ayimbby for helping me out, credits goes to him.we've been doing th proposals for a wk, but it turned out to be wrong at first.after kancho-nging on fri&mon, we're done just in time for presentation justnw.okay, i was nervous.i proposed abt setting up an entertainment arcade in school, hw cool is that?having karaoke &jamming rooms, x-box 360 to enjoy, plasma tvs for watching dvds &mini stage for gigs/performance, hell its entertaining! i'm starting to love all my modules; computer programming+networking etc, its interesting.heck, i ain't like lectures.b-o-r-i-n-g!

i'm confused! lovelife is getting challenging nwadays.only th closed ones knew th actual story, its complicating! it gives me hell.i regret-ted everything, i dont really want to talk abt it here.2lab tests coming up this wk &more e-quiz th following wk.nw is th time to really2 study, gaahhh.
schedule is tight nwadays; with more meet-ups with th old friends+ayimbby, i even have no time for myself.4-5hrs of sleep everyday, i'll breakdwn sooner or later.those calls that occupies my night everyday, i'm nt alone afterall.heck:

i miss ahmad amin bin muhd khairi!!
some pictures taken with ayimbby, th rest will be uploaded in th upcoming posts.

iqa_lulu outing;

2009-05-07T21:01:00.009+08:00

" people come &go,

change&ignore.

i'm glad ure nt one of them,

hpe it'll stay that way forever. "

nt having to meet for 2mnths nw, like finally i get to meet my dearest lulu.i really miss her truckloads! those silly jokes &hillarious stuffs we used to do to eachother, i'm glad ure still th same old person i knew a few mnths back.since school ended at 4.30 yterday after th make-up public holiday lesson, lulu decided to fetch me frm school.hw sweet is that?haha.metup at yck mrt &off to seoul garden marina square to have our hearty meal.it was so freaking worth our money.being able to remenisce our time when we're working &th opportunity to see our former colleagues working their hearts out, i suddenly miss working! heck, school is my main priority.till then; i want to have a gd long rest after th ton yterday, i had only an hr of sleeping.ok gdnyte ppl.ps: an unexpected thing happened, omg! still clueless.

swine outbreak;

2009-05-04T22:34:00.006+08:00

"People may become infected by touching something
with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouth or nose.
You cannot get swine flu from eating pork as the virus is
killed through the cooking process. "

-http://www.smh.com.au/world/science/
history-of-swine-flu-20090427-ak2y.html?page=-1

everybody frm all arnd th world is taking precautionary measures to prevent swine flu outbreak.temperature-taking exercise started today in school but it will be made compulsory frm tomorrow onwards, it annoys me+we're forced to go to much trouble due to those piggies.whatever it is, its better be safe than sorry.plus, all th canteens are only open to students &staffs frm NYP; hw cool is that?we're supposed to flash our cards at th entrance, fantastic+merepek! haha.
enough said; bby &i had a long, deep, heart-to-heart 3hrs conversation justnw.we both are tired of arguing 24/7, we get stressed up over nothing &we decide to just end th nonsense until here.i'm really used to everything but i really hpe things would get better.those motivation talks i get frm th companions really helps, it does show he love &care too much that he became too obsessive.via my flirtybitch actions, he became aggressive.i dont blame him that much, but do i really deserve those shitty treatment frm him?he should be th one being grateful to have me in his life &nt taking me for granted; oh well.once you lose something that you somehw did nt treasure/cherish, only then you'll realise hw he/she means alot to you.
gdnyte readers; i miss dancegroup!

outing with an old friend;

2009-05-03T23:31:00.002+08:00

went to watch "JANGAN TEGUR" yterday with an old friend, it has been 4mnths when i last saw him! th movie wasnt that scary as i heard, but hillarious indeed.th atmosphere in th cinema was abit cramped+those macik&pacik make a hell lot of noise, kiasu kut?hehe.sorry, no offence aight?we ate, we talked; just an ordinary friend's meetup.
i really miss bby! i miss those times when everything feels allryte, those times when u hold me in ur arms &nothing arnd us matters.but why does it change in a blink of an eye?we often quarrelled &always argue over those minor things.i wonder if i mean anything to u at all, u dont even care hw i feel.those harsh words that leave a scar in my heart, those actions that made tears rolled down my eyes &those sleepless nights i had thinking abt hw to make this rship better, i'm seriously tired.i need someone that cn make me feel secure, understand hw i feel &always be thre when i'm in need.th safest way, i'll go with th flow.until when, i'll leave to fate.
pics frm meetup:

th is it time to break-up quiz?

2009-05-03T01:29:00.004+08:00

Remember: If your relationship is emmotionally or physically abusive, or if it causes you to act in a self destructive manner you should get out regardless of how "in love" you feel. Relationships that hurt don't need to be saved.

Your score is 60. To break up or not to break up, that is the question. Unfortunately in this case there are no easy answers. While your relationship is definitely not where you want it to be right now it is not all bad and there is still something there that keeps you around. In order to figure out what to do next think long and hard about the things that are giving you pause. Can you get over what is bothering you or will it only bother you more as time goes by? Are you and your steady growing apart because of a difference in core values or are circumstances conspiring against you? If your differences are fleeting and the reasons behind your drifting apart are merely circumstantial keep it together and try to work through what is really just a growing pain. Relationships take work, and good relationships take more work than most people like to think, hang in there until you are sure. As long as you have doubts ending things will only leave you wondering what might have been.

i'm clueless!

a friend;

2009-05-03T00:55:00.003+08:00

i met a friend.

we talked, we chat, we hangout.

&that guy is th guy's used-to-be-bff.

heck.

past & present; oh random.

2009-05-01T22:41:00.005+08:00

before & after, hw cool was that?i was browsing through my old blog &ta-dah, its kind of cool to look at those old pics.my eyes is as big as usual but i think i lose some fats on my cheeks, haha.i'm starting to miss my short hair.my hair is really in a bad condition nw.i need to head to th saloon! &oh, my last pay has just being transferred, shop-ping!(:

pics; nypians = 0908

2009-04-28T23:14:00.003+08:00

th climb;

2009-04-25T17:03:00.004+08:00

every step i'm taking,

every move i make feels;

i'm lost with no directions,

&my faith is shaking.

no matter what its going to be,

i gotta keep trying;

gotta keep my head held high.

i got to be strong,

&just keep pushing on.

this is just exactly hw i feels.this isnt what i planned for, all i need is someone who understands me best &who cn be thre for me all th time.is it that hard to achieve?why must he do this to me?oh why must he treat me like i'm invisible?i don't ask for much, why can't he just fulfill it?i need answers.

nw i guess i'm wrong.i thought he was th one, guiding me through thicks &thin; giving me courage to erase my past.but instead, he destroyed my life &my faith &oh just everything.i need a break.

bday celebration + orientation

2009-04-18T23:44:00.009+08:00

oh man! its been a longlong time.sorry for th lack of updates dear readers, nobody cares also right?its plain boring, haha.
first &foremost, my bday celebration at ecp was so unexpected.we ate, we gossiped, we cycled, we played water bombs, haha.i didnt thought it would be real due to th fact that one prson actually said she cant turn up, thnks ehr reen?haha.nina &sheila was there, never did i thought they would attend.thnks to all of u girls, really love u all to th core! will be missing all of u.keep in touch alrytey?(:

orientation was so incredible! meet new fantastic classmates+buddies &hyperactive OGLs/seniors.we interacted+gossiped over every single thing, i'm really looking forward for school.&oh, i'm th class rep.its all thnks to that dear OGL &my classmates.due to my ongoing talkativeness, they appointed me.man, me &mr mentor would be th best of friends ever, haha.i even participated in th grand finale &was supossed to dance.&so, we formed PCD tk menjadi coz naya didnt attend at th very lastmin due to an urgent matter.that dear OGL or should i called him mr choreographer, planned to take th 5 of us to be his personal dancers.haha, yeah rite indeed.

btw, my dear OGLs hadnt send th photos frm th orientation.&so, i'll upload them when it is being sent.for nw, th photos frm ecp+th dancers.gdnyte+gdmorning.

tired.

2009-04-05T00:02:00.002+08:00

why cant fairytales be true?happily ever after.

♥

my lovelife is turning into disasters.with his hot-temperedness &my ego, its getting bad to worst.why must i be th victim of love, needed to follow his way?why cant he give th freedom to whom i cn mix arnd with?why must he control my whreabts &wanted me to make him always th first priority?its unfair, real unfair.i have my own friends, own mind &own desires, its impossible for us to be 24/7.its true i msged my guy friends, guy colleagues &guy cousins behind his back.i knw hw to draw th line, theres no need for him to get so worked up &agitated over nothing.we often quarrelled over god-knows-what, i'm tired; real tired.i want this to stop, maybe if i put an end to this rship; things would get better.better w/o each other?i'm clueless.

rest & relax

2009-04-01T22:06:00.002+08:00

after 4mnths of hard work &working by th clock, i'm officially unemployed for nw.i've tendered my resignation 2wks ago due to school starting on th 20th.i'm gonna miss all th fun at work &those interesting colleagues.for nw, i'm taking a rest &will be enjoying my holiday before school start real soon.orientation would be on th 16th&17th april, i'm looking forward for th new adventure that is in store for me.tertiary education, here i come! wheeee~

have been doing my shopping every end of th mnth, nw i'm left with a new phone, laptop, nike shoes &that marc ecko watch.for th phone, i'm needed to wait for my line to end this july.laptop is being sponsored by daddy, perhaps for my bday present maybe?plans have been made for my bday, just looking forward for that day to come.bby's bday is just nxt to mine, what should i buy?hmmm...

rship with th bwoy is pretty rocky nwadays.with those wrong accusation &those assumptions made by bby, its tearing my heart apart.i'm tired, really fucked up with his attitude.is this th end?i'm clueless.

till here; pics frm th sabotage &hangout with th two colleagues.

first post for 2009;

2009-02-22T23:45:00.006+08:00

no matter what i do, i'll do it for us.

i knw its kind of weird, its been quite a long time since th last post &this is th first post for yr 2009! shocking huh?oh my! i was tied dwn by work with only 2days of resting every wk, i cant possibly be on cyber at all.my time is spent with th guy &resting at hm that i dont even have th time to spend it wisely with th family &friends.i really miss school &those friends, i miss th jokes we used to crack &hangouts we used to have.work is boring for me due to th same old routine everyday.still, th colleagues have been great only that sales have been going dwn &th outlet is peaceful on wkdays.with no customers, we can do absolute nothing during work but just plain spring cleaning.&oh, i failed my audit test last sat.damn! i'd already forgot those way to present food tour to th customer.man, i suck!

commencement of polytechnic: 20/04/2009
i'm posted to Nanyang Polytechnic, Multimedia &Infocomm Technology(Engineering)
orientation would be on 16&17 of april, i cant wait.hpefully th ppl of my course would be fun, pray hard.theres plenty of things to do before i'm being accepted such as settling th fees, have my medical checkup &etc etc by 10/03/2009.god, TROUBLESOME!
congratulations to those who have graduated frm secondary education, its time for us to move on to tertiary; gdluck to all.

i'm done here, i need my sleep.
full-shift tomorrow, gdnyte.
& i miss bby, we had a tough wk.

short &simple;

2008-12-04T01:03:00.000+08:00

hello december! with festive seasons coming &a brand new yr, i'm so looking forward.2wks of work is tiring, i had to do closing almost everyday nw.th ppl at work never fails to put a smile on my face, although i cn be such an ass at time &th long hrs cn be a drag.th managers are sociable &eager to offer a helping hand most of th times, i'm really grateful.customers cn be quite fussy but when it comes to clearing their plates, they're very considerate &friendly.

when i had long hrs of work, it meant that my time with bby will be short.offdays are twice a wk, most of th time i'll spend with bby.phonecalls are rare nw due to th fact that i ended work late &bby was tired due to soccer/community service, we're pretty cool with that.

i'm done here.off to sleep nw, gdnyte/gdmorning to be specific.

ppl, do visit seoul garden marina square ok?

haha, see u there.

update;

2008-11-22T23:54:00.003+08:00

i love my bby!

♥

oh crap! my blog is so dead.i'm sorry guys, life kind of busy nwadays.with camps just over, outings all wk long &interviews etc.atlast i'm hired, nt officially but i did pass th interview at breeks but i wanted seoulgarden.we'll see hw tomorrow, th orientation.i'm so looking forward to get a salary.wish me luck babes!
REDCAMP5 was awesome! get to meet new ppl, learn abt th courses, did some hands-on, knw some fantastic cheers &get to party! it was sick, i really had a blast.&oh, i lost my voice coz i'm having a sorethroat.haha, whatever.
bby is such a darling nwadays.for th first time he followed what i said, nt th other way round.hes becoming reasonable, making my love for him grew stonger.i'm really scared to lose him, hes on probation nw.but, it could be bad in future.i hpe he'll get only a warning, i cant bear to see him leave.i still need him in my life, so pls dont break us apart.
hes a change man nw, he promised to turn over a new leaf &wont do anything silly.he deserves a chance, oh god pls help him.
when everything was just perfect, something just ruin it.i just hpe for th best, my love for him will remains.

AHMAD AMIN,
for 3yrs i've been cold, ignoring u &teasing u names.ure always there, but why cant i see that?i'm contented that fate brought us back together.thanks for th love u've showered, th hugs &kisses, th late night calls, th gifts &th memorable outings.i appreciate all that, i love u profoundly.whatever happens, heck we'll go through all that together.i knw i cn be such a flirty bitch back then, i promise to be loyal frm nw on.we'll be forever, dont worry bby.have faith in our r'ship bby, ily.

celebration;

2008-11-11T10:20:00.001+08:00

have you ever felt that you just want to fly high up th sky;

feeling free &contented?

Olvl's officially over, time to celebrate.

♥

a mnth have passed, all th sufferings etc.nw its all over, such a relieved.bks cn be left aside, atlast freedom is here.nt to relieve yet, th result is still unknown.i did my best, only prayers cn be done.i hpe for th very best, but atleast one strikeout frm my list to do.

nxt up: finding a job.indeed, it is hard.time to get started, no more wasting time.numerous interviews coming right up.

1st anny is just arnd th corner, what should i get?heck, hes been unreasonable these days.i'm frust over th things he did/said.at one point we're filled with joy &laughter but th next, frust &anger.i've been very patience with him but everything has limitations.dont try &test my patience, you'll be sorry.still, i do love him profoundly.but why cant we be happy always, no need to argue over th slightest thing?love is way unpredictable.

i'm done here, off to sleep &interviews right after.

&thnks to MR AHMAD AMIN, i'm addicted to th song in my blog.

cheers!

frustrating;

2008-11-07T01:15:00.001+08:00

a paper to go &bks cn be thrown.

still, tertiary education is calling my name.

Olvl will end soon, that means freedom.i'll be slacking most of th time if, nt a single employer would hire me.i'm frustrated, most of th recommendations made by th relatives need a minimum of Nlvl! my highest is only PSLE mind you! grrr.

this is where friends could come in, help me find a job pls! my wishlists are stacking up, it would be much appreciated.i'm applying jobs through cyber too, hpefully via creating th very first resume would be all worth it.

its already 1.15am but, here i am blogging.although i'm tired due to those job-hunting, i couldnt shut my goddamn eyes.oh god! i want to wakeup early later on, job-hunting again.i hadnt had th chance to study for MCQ, i'll revise them on wkends.

sayonara!

relieved/th new beginning.

2008-10-30T11:30:00.001+08:00

3more papers to go &it'll all be over.

th new beginning has yet to come.

its been a long time since th last post.its been a mnth since raya &2wks of examinations.i'm just glad that i managed to pull through all that, although theres a lil' carelessness here&there.but i hpe that my result would turnout to be th best amongst th previous examinations.indeed, this will be an evidence on what knowledge i gained in my four yrs of secondary school's education.ss+malay+sci mcq, time will fly.

i'm done with th r'ship thingy with fir, there won't be anymore chance given.he's gone too far, far enough to crush my heart into pieces.msges are ignored &calls have been rejected, but still he kept on harassing.i did pickup his one call &decided to go our separate ways.he just couldn't let me go, all for th sake of 3yrs.heck, he sucks.

i thought of becoming independant, nomore r'ship &all.but, a guy i knew 3yrs back came right infront of my doorstep.he would be there whenever i needed someone &he know exactly what i'm going through.i decided to give him th chance to prove th love, actions speak louder than that bunch of nonsensical empty words.we've lost cntact eversince i started with fir, we met again 3yrs after.is this what they call fate?lets go with th flow.afterall, th feelings has already started to grow.

i'm done here, lets take a gd long afternoon nap.

i'll continue studying ss at night, gdnight all.or should i say, great afternoon!(:

discipline; hari raya.

2008-10-08T16:10:00.002+08:00

10more days to Olvl,

time management is crucial.

a wk have passed for raya, visiting &asking for forgiveness.frm th family to th relatives &friends; my wkends are basically spent outdoors.i've been skippping school nwadays due to th fact that i cn hardly wakeup.its nt because of th late night calls etc, but been mugging late at night.i've just recovered frm a fever, i'll resume attending school tomorrow.Olvl is drawing near, theres no time to lose.i hope th sacrifices made will become worthwhile.th time is finally here, to prove my knowledge that i gathered in my secondary education.few more days to suffering, a mnth to freedom.wish me luck;

random pics;

gone;

2008-09-20T16:02:00.002+08:00

i'm gone to M.I.A

- studies&preparation for hari raya&outdoors.

be back soon.

♥♥♥

busy;

2008-09-17T15:48:00.002+08:00

sorry for th MIA, i'm busy with th outside world.but somehw, i miss cyberlife!

a mnth to go before Olvl &i'm totally nervous.i feel that theres alot to do to bucking up &scoring high enough to step into th next stage in life.Poly or JC?lets see whats my final choice in yr2009.for nw, study is all i need to do.its alright to suffer nw, i could have th last laugh later.for th prelim exam, it was bad.i need to really buckup, i failed maths &had no distinctions at all.what a shame! a B3 for malay, B4 for comb science&art, C5 for comb humanities, C6 for eng &a D7 for maths.totally disappointed, its time to wake up! grr.

i've nt been sleeping well for th past few days, i get tired easily &my dark circles are way visible then ever.despite all that, i've been revising quite constantly in th early morn &wasting some of my time outside till late.i guess this has to stop somehw, i could have a breakdwn sooner or later due to th fact that i only slept for 2-3hrs a day.plus; school nwadays is such a drag, especially for art.th dateline kept on postponing &its final due is tomorrow.i'm still needed to colour shade my development even though for me its getting way messier.but what cn i do?its an order frm th oh-talented art teacher, i need his approval anyway &i know he just wants th best frm me.its my gain then.

hari raya is in 2wk's time, i'm so nt totally prepared.my rm is totally in a mess with bks all over th place, hw cn i possibly clear that up?i need to study too, but spring cleaning is a must! i must make sure my rm is in a pleasant &tip-top condition.if nt, mum will for sure nag &scold.talking abt mum, shes yet to make any cookies cos' she had no time to spare.maybe this wkends, we'll start cleaning&making cookies.even my raya clothings isnt ready, i cant wait.

&oh, i totally miss love.off day soon ok?35mnths bby!

break;

2008-09-03T22:25:00.002+08:00

"Happy fasting to all muslims.

May th whole mnth brings joy to th whole family."

th past wk went well, most of th time was spent at th historical street - Geylang serai.th bazar is well-organised, with vehicles&food&apparels stalls get separated.th lightings isnt that bad either, th fireworks during th opening ceremony was fabulous; better than NDP.th performance was kind of bore but, th urge to look at Teuku Wisnu LIVE made me go there despite th huge crowd.three days of fasting wasnt that bad, i pulled it off just fine.27more days to go&it will all be over.i'm addicted to dengdeng, fat-ness; gahh.th thought of diet-ing is abandoned, i ate alot though.

i didnt had any time to revise my schoolwork.i know i need to buckup but, my mind is all messed up.with no time to spare, i only managed to do some maths.i'm in a holiday mode nw&when school reopen, i swear most of my time would be spent on studies.i did touchup my canvas&i think its already completed.atleast one subject dwn, but paper2 is yet to be distributed.grrrr, so many work to do.

i'll end nw.till then;

despair/.

2008-08-28T16:52:00.003+08:00

straight or frizzy; u decide.

&atlast, prelims are over.nt to relieve yet, O's coming real soon.but hey, this wkends to take a break is really a gd idea.my mind need some time to rest too, right?after all th stress i'm in&th r'ship in haywire, i totally need a breather.

we managed to have a heart-to-heart conversation yterday.still, i feel insecured.everything look so fine but, it isnt perfect.i know r'ships tend to have their own ups&dwns, ours is going dwn th drain.promises are made to fulfill, nt to break them all.you know it feel so hurt when you tend to promise you're going to change&make th r'ship much more better but in th end, its just an empty promise.when a break is being asked, you'll say that every problem has a solution&you just cant let me go.

"Give me some time;everything will be just fine, pls dear."

your favourite line of all.for hw long must i hold on?you're driving me insane, time is running out fast.despite all that, you just know hw to make me feel better.eventhough you get on my nerve&make me cry in my sleep sometimes, th truth dont lie;my love for you is profound.

maybe i doubt too much in our r'ship, maybe i'm just too over-reacting.like you said, i have no confidence on what i do.for th first time, you're actually right.i'm setting this aside, its up to you to decide.i dont mind losing you, but i wont get over you easily.i just hope for th best.

&i wonder why do ppl change in a blink of an eye?i miss th times spent on th previous wk&nw, no news are being updated.is serving ns take most of your time?oh well;you're just some kind of passerby.i did visit th saloon last tues&yes, i rebonded my hair.i'm already gaining weight but who cares?fasting mnth will start soon&this is a great opportunity to slimdwn.

i'm done here.

exhausted/.

2008-08-20T19:27:00.003+08:00

i'm exhausted; i need to get this done&over with.

its been ages since i touched this blog of mine.its nt that i want to abandon th blog, its just that school has been keeping me occupied.with prelims going on nw&O's coming in a few mnths time, theres no possibilities that i could put a side some time to update.but god knows what am i thinking right nw, i just have th urge to update.maybe because i felt sad browsing through this empty blog of mine.oh well; to those who want to know what i'm going through right nw, scroll dwn.warning: its nt interesting, so dont bother.

whre should i start?lets start with school.prelims are going on right nw, i've been mugging for long hours nwadays.its nt that i'm rushing for time or am totally unprepared, i do believe that last-minute revision do help sometimes.
for malay Olevel result, it was disasterous.getting a C for malay, its like failing th subject.there goes th whole lifetime of malay education, why th hell did i get a C?th least grade i ever get was a B&ofcourse, those arnd me were shock also.i'm utterly disappointed, th paper was indeed easy.oh god! am i over-confidence?or is th pressure too hard for me to handle?i did quarrel with th bwoy th day before, is that th reason?i'm bewildered.ofcourse i'm retaking at th end of th yr, i need to buck up! grrr.

2more wks to fasting mnth.followed by hari raya th mnth after&Olevel start 2wks after; thats hw fast time flies.time is precious, i need to seize every moment of it.with god's willing, i aimed 15points for L1R5&hope to get into a jc.my long-life dream is to get a degree&if i go to a polytechnic, theres a lower possibility that i enter a university.so i already made up my mind to go to a jc but no use deciding it nw like what my mother used to say; "no use telling urself that u want to be successful&go somewhere but no efforts are being made."..i need th good grades&i'm really working hard on it.god is really fair.i know my hard work will pay off&also, he'll answer my prayers.

i managed to settle things with th bwoy after that huge argument but i doubt th r'ship could last any longer.i'm trying nt to depend on him&studies is ofcourse my main priority.he agreed that we'll only meet once a wk.afterall, most of my time is occupied on my studies&for him, his work come first.as long as he never start fooling arnd&give me any major problems that could give a huge impact on my grades, i'm fine with it.we'll be turning 34mnths in 4days' time, its real fast.

i'm done here.i need to mug for physics tomorrow&luckily, i did practice some maths justnw.maths paper1&physics paper2 tomorrow, wish me luck.

done.

2008-07-21T15:36:00.003+08:00

i'm nt going to update this blog any sooner.
i'll be back in time to come.

with love;

dear fir;

2008-07-09T18:30:00.002+08:00

you're th cherry on top of a bday cake,

you know i can't possibly live a day w/o you.

you just wouldn't know what will happen tomorrow,

you can count on me to make you go through today.

♥♥

my internet connection is back! should i be happy? my life isn't interesting either&cyber world could be such a bore sometimes.school&revisions keep me occupied nwadays, i cant possibly sit dwn infront of th screen&going to websites that couldn't benefit me at all.but be optimistic, atleast i could dwnload new songs.i had enough hearing th same old songs over&over again, its time for a change.

i'm going through th same routine continuously everyday.school&hmwrk&revision&television, that's what i normally do every single day w/o fail.and ofcourse, eating&sleeping is necessary to one's survival.should i mention that in th first place?oh well.

exceptions on wkends or any other time when i decide there's a need to time-out, i tend to having fun.that is when i'll go out to shop or just hanging-out.th boy is my main priority nw, i dontknow why but i feel i've been neglecting him much.if nt for my neglections, he won't mix arnd with those monkeys again.but it's already happened, i'm nw helping him to avoid them period.i wouldn't want him to be influenced by them, i'll only have myself to blame if that were to happen.

whatever it is, i have faith in him.i know he won't repeat his mistakes, i trust him.i know i'm an egoist&wants everything to just follow my way, i know i tend to rake up th past&eventually piss him off.but, i did all that because i care.i cared too much that it makes me over-reacting.i know this somehow hurt his feelings&indeed i should spare some thought for him, i'll improve on that for sure.all i want nw is to have a perfect fairytale r'ship with happy endings etc.i know there'll be hiccups every nw&then, i hope we cn still pull through together.3yrs of knowing him&still standing strong in this r'ship that we built together way back in time, did broke up for a couple of times&get separated quite a few, my love for him is still burning.i'm just glad to have him be a part of my life.

i'm done.

MIA.

2008-07-07T18:58:00.002+08:00

" I wish th time could just stop,

whenever i'm with you.

Cause i never could imagine,

what you'll be doing behind my back. "

its july nw, this is th first post&its been a long long time since th last update.reason?th internet connection on my PC had breakdwn, due to th freaking virus-es.i'm using th bro's lappy for a random update.

recently i'm having ups&dwns, all thanks to th boy.i hadnt had any clues on whats going through his mind, filled with crappy notorious amusingly irritating IQ.i wish i could just scan his mind&know what's actually on his god damn brain.he's been acting real weird lately+his jokes are ridiculously insane.he's been hanging arnd with th bunch of monkeys again, with plenty of leisure round th clock.i'm starting to sense that he would follow th old footsteps back again, lying&be a good-for-nothing.oh god, dont make history repeat itself ever.i dont deserve all that shit.its annoying! pls show some mercy.&i'll make sure he won't just slip away, i'll control him w/o fail.i don't care!
rumours of him are starting to spread among my family+th aunt's, i dontknow which side to believe.compared to his side of th story, both are making real sense.i'm clueless! pls reveal th truth.

Olevel malay oral was a disaster, th topic was easy but i didnt actually elaborate that much.even if i did, i dont think it makes any sense.i'll just leave it to fate, i already did my best.its already over, nothing can be done.
school makes me panic, Olevel is drawing near.plenty of revisions to do, i'm glad chem&physics notes are all ready.i'd compiled my geog&ss notes, i'm left to rewrite some of th chapters.art coursework are done except for th canvas, i'm yet to start sketching.as for maths, i've been doing th ten-yr series w/o fail.so many things to do, yet so little time.
despite th busy schedule on wkdays&a lil' on wkends, th wkends are usually much more splendid.i did manage to spend some quality time outdoors with th fam, relatives&hubby too.i've been rushing here&there for time, i hope i could just pull through it all.

&i'm done here, i'll update once my PC are repaired.

school; r'ships

2008-06-23T17:10:00.003+08:00

love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

&oh, i'm totally crazy in love!

first day of school was awesomely fun, plenty of catching up to do with th schoolmates.new timetable&new teachers, it will be a great semester ahead.a few more mnths to prelim+Olevel, 2more mnths to be exact; thats hw time flies.malay oral will start this thursday, i'm effing nervous.i'm afraid that i'll kept silence once th quest is being asked, i'm scared of conversation to be specific.th exam's atmosphere+those frightening teachers, i hope i cn pull through.afterall, oral is easy to score&i'm talkative.insya'allah, everything will be alright. ☺

holiday's over, its time to get my head in th study mode.2wks of slacking&enjoying a hell lot outta me, i must put all that aside nw.i'm lazy to update my life on cyber, its nt that exciting either.i did spend quality time with hubby during th holidays, accompanying him here&there.i'll miss him for sure when th time comes.oh god, must he really go?grrrr.
th family bonding is much closer nw with outings here&there, especially to jb.my two saturdays was spent there, believe it or nt.my stomach was filled with western food during th holidays too, i'm fatter nw.oh yes!

i've done my daily schedule for th next few mnths, nt much time to lose.
i want to continue on my chem notes nw, i'm off.
2movies dwn, 4more movies to go.will head to th cinema this friday, woohooo! ☻

boyf;

2008-06-19T12:48:00.003+08:00

I miss you son of a b*tch☺

Threw some chords together

The combination D-E-F

It's who I am, it's what I do

And I was gonna lay it down for you

Try to focus my attention

But I feel so A-D-D

I need some help, some inspiration

(But it's not coming easily)

Whoah oh!

Trying to find the magic

Trying to write a classic

Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?

Waste-bin full of paper

Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own

From my heart flow

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

There's no other way

To better say

I love you, I love you...

Read some Byron, Shelly and Keats

Recited it over a Hip-Hop beat

I'm having trouble saying what I mean

With dead poets and drum machines

I know I had some studio time booked

But I couldn't find a killer hook

Now you've gone & raised the bar right up

Nothing I write is ever good enough

These words are my own

From my heart flow

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

There's no other way

To better say

I love you, I love you!

I'm getting off my stage

The curtains pull away

No hyperbole to hide behind

My naked soul exposes

Whoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh..

Trying to find the magic

Trying to write a classic

Waste-bin full of paper

Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own

From my heart flow

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

That's all I got to say,

Can't think of a better way,

And that's all I've got to say,

I love you, is that okay?

♥♥

Oh love;random

2008-06-12T15:41:00.006+08:00

Oh love;

why'd you keep on being a nuisance?

th past was already a history,

i still need you in my life.

time is precious nw,

i need you on every occasion.

2more wks with you,

i'm gonna cherish them all.

you'll be off serving th nation,

while i'm right here waiting.

i know we're able to meet every wk,

but it won't be enough anyway.

On top of that,

don't you worry.

i'm gonna wait for your call,

i won't be fooling arnd.

i'll study real hard,

fulfilling my dream.

&i swear,

i'm gonna miss you more.

♥

bye-bye

2008-06-10T14:32:00.003+08:00

i've nt being keeping in touch with music nwadays.th songs in my itunes library are outdated&its left abandoned.atlast, i have th free time at hm to dwnload new songs.mainly bcoz i'm just tired to go out&i was needed to stay hm as my brother did head to school w/o bringing th hse keys, so pathetic?but who cares, i'm hm alone nw&i could freely do anything i want.with th blasting loud stereo on, hw cool is that?
life is much better nw, th family had outings every nw&then.i'm nt sure if th KL trip is still on, but we've been out shopping th past wkends.GSS is nw on&of course, shopshopshop till you drop! ☺

revisions are yet to start, i'm still in a holiday mode.i know i must be on track by hook or by crook, by nxtwk.no time to lose, i guess.i was browsing through mariah's lyrics&i must say, this phrase caught my attention;

I never knew i can hurt like this,

and everyday life rolls on.

I wish i can talk to you for a while,

miss you but not to cry.

As time goes bye.

Just lift your head to the sky,

cause we will never say;

bye-bye.

it is extracted from her latest "byebye" song.its dedicated to those who had lost someone special in their life recently.although it hurts to forget that loved ones, life must still go on.it has groovy beat too, such a catchy song.

i'm out nw;

adious.

eastcoast trip;

2008-06-06T21:24:00.006+08:00

alright.yterday was an outing to eastcoast specially with zaty.we just slacked&we lost our way most of th time.but overall, it was such a fun outing&we should do this more often aye?
we also went on a school trip justnw to eastcoast, labrador park&changi beach.it was interesting, th places really have a beautiful scenery.it was suitable for relaxing&enjoying a romantic breeze by th sea.i shall go there more often, i guess.☺
i've been thinking abt th bestboyf, haziq, lately.hes been treating me good, i feel guilty.i hope ure coping well in life aye?i'm looking forward for th nxt outing, movie marathon right?woohoo! i'm sorry for nt being there th past few days, i'm worried over my hp bill.u know u could call me up anytime ok?☺
&i've been slacking alot for th past few days.it is nw time to get started for revisions.i'll be heading to civic tomorrow, maybe.i must attend to a b'day party beforehand too, so many plans.grrrr.

till then;

complicated/hubby.

2008-06-06T20:40:00.004+08:00

" what if that special someone said he's given up,

nt only in life but in th r'ship too?

what if u know that he's facing a major problem,

but u cant do anything except watching him fall? "

thats exactly hw i feel right nw.i know hes facing plenty of problems, paying bills&fines&bike.he already planned to pay all this before he serve NS&nw, most of th time he work so hard.but after receiving a letter stating hes booking in nxt mnth, things are getting more&more complicated.i wish i could help but, what cn i do?i have my own problems to settle for.to hear that he had lost faith in life&bored in having a r'ship, i'm shocked.if he was bored with me arnd, why did he kept holding me back?due to love&kept on thinking abt me?i was touched to hear that.wth?!

work, sleep, work, sleep; thats his life right nw.he prefer to go jb with th friends rather than spending time with me.reason?to top-up th petrol late at night, he dont wana be a burden to me.and, he prefers sleeping rather than going out with me during his leisure time.might as well we end th r'ship?why bother having someone who just dont have th time to spare?why bother having someone who only cared abt his own feelings?i'll be said crap-ping whenever i jump into th conclusion of breaking up, i just dont get it.what is he thinking?!

he did say he no longer trust me fully, over god knows what.even myself dont trust him that much.i think thats one of th reason that makes our r'ship fell apart.we're trying our best in regaining th trusts, we need time.

but look on a brighter note, hes been calling more often&hes there to spend some time.eventhough he complaint that i cn be such a nag&its a drag to report to me everytime, he actually heed whatever i say.hopefully things will get better coz if nt, i wont hesitate to fight for my right.

bored;hubby

2008-06-03T22:14:00.002+08:00

i'm bored nw.school was such a bore;life's kinda boring too, with th same old routine everyday.i hadnt had th time to have my own revision.a few mnths left, i'm stress.&i'm easily tired nwadays, any supplement for me?grrrr.i've been accompanying mother to everywhere for th past few wks, she just have all th time in th world.shes nt working&so, to window-shop everyday is a must.interesting yet tiring, i must say.

physics practical for 2hrs tomorrow, uncolourful.friday will be off to eastcoast park for a geog intensive, i'm plain lazy.i need a break......... away frm school&books, sexy cn i?

i hope th jb plan nxtwk is still on&also th KL trip.i cant stand s'pore anymore, th same chilling places everytime, humid weather here&there.IRs&marina&jurong, develop faster cncn?gahh/.i need entertainment!

i had an unnecessary tiff with hubby.it all started when i decided nt to meet him yterday, i know i'm an egoist&i just cant help it.i was outside with mother&hubby had a lastminute-planned outing for both of us.i cant possibly leave mother alone?wheres ur brain my dear?u accused me for god-knows-what reason&even blamed me for nt telling u earlier.for goodness sake, hw am i supposed to know that ure nt working?wheres ur initiative?i admit it was partly my fault, ur calls&msges were left ignored.u should know my reasons better, i dont like to be disturbed when i'm out.3yrs of knowing me, dont u recall at all?&nw, its ur turn to ignore me.when will all these just end?i'm tired, tired of arguing&misunderstood.when i saw u passing by while i'm walking to school, i was crushed.i know u didnt realise i was there, ure already late for work.i just hope we'll clashed onto one another again, indeed it never happen.i miss you!

" I remember way back way back when,

i said i never wanna see your face again.

Cause you were loving yes you're loving somebody else,

&i knew oh yes i knew i couldnt control myself.

And now they bring you back into my life again,

&so i put on a face just like your friend's.

But i think you know oh yes you know whats going on,

cause the feelings in me oh yes in me are burning strong. "

sometimes i'm just confused over what i'm thinking.i know hubby's whereabouts&all but, its hard for me to trust him.i know i tend to say i dont love him but th fact is, i love him deep.i know i'll act rash towards him&tend to ignore him at times but truth is, i cared too much.i'm sarcastic most of th time, telling him to find another girl if hes unhappy.i treated him like crap, i must admit that.blame him for cheating on me th previous time;blame him for lying&giving me false hopes all th time.he deserve it anyway, he should think th consequences before deciding.pathetic moron, grrrr.

but look at th bright side.i have friends&th fam who never fail to cheer me up.mainly haziq, thanks for always being there.my schedule will be occupied nwadays, i wont depend on hubby that much for happiness.till next time;

more pics.

2008-06-03T22:00:00.001+08:00

CLICKFIVE! 01062008 (:

2008-06-02T13:17:00.020+08:00

" ben robbed my heart yterday,

he was superbly cute.

overall th concert was such a blast,

although some of th song i'm nt familiar with. "

woohooo! th crowd was just crazy.met up with haziq at cthall arnd5+&window-shopped.we then cab-bed dwn to indoor stadium for th CLICK5 concert.at first, there isnt much ppl.but as th time passed, th theatre was full! we didnt manage to get th poster as we're some kind of late, such a waste.th show started 15mins late&ended late too.
ben was such a hottie! he was awesomely rocking freaking cute! still, kyle was th bomb among most of th girls.it was total mad-ness, jumping up&dwn.i really had a fcuking bestest time in my life, thankyou haziq for this wonderful treat! ☺
i managed to capture some videos/pics.it was unclear due to my lacking 3.2mp phone+th bright lightings here&there, grrrr.i'm nt a professional photographer anyway.
still, its better than nothing.click5 really looked&sounded better in live! ☻
more pics&videos coming up.i'm going out to slack. ☺

tired; shocking

2008-05-29T22:50:00.003+08:00

" I will never be your stepping stone;
take it all or leave me alone.
I will never be your stepping stone;
i'm standing upright on my own. "

i got to meet fir justnw early in th morn.i pretended as if nothing actually happened but deep in my heart, it was burning like fire.i faked a smile&laughed at his stupid reactions thoughout but, i knew something wasnt just right.for 9 pathetic days, there isnt any phonecalls or msges.i thought i could treat this as a "silent break" but, he msged me early in th morn wanting to meet.i was getting all ready for school&i thought i could use this opportunity to express hw i feel for th past few days.seeing his smile&his poor condition due to a bike accident a few days' back, i held back my emotions.he was badly hurt with bandages on his arm&legs.i could even see those pink flesh on his right hand, that was disgusting!
after a while, we parted.he went off to work&i went off to school.th maths camp was such a bore, but i did learn something.i nw understand more about geometry&circles, this two topics really confused me.6hrs of doing maths is killing me, i wont be attending tomorrow's camp for sure.

i did went to civic justnw to borrow some art&eng books.it was pouring&i think i'm gonna be sick.i did argue with fir beforehand through msges.indeed, hes th one finding fault.he wana meet me but i already had a plan.it was raining anyway&ofcourse, i dontwana get drenched.he insisted on taking th train, but i decided nt to cancel th previous plan.that was when i expressed all my hidden feelings.frm nt having th time to spend it with me to always kept on disappearing&reappearing, i'm just so tired.
wana know whats th reason?he didnt wana disturb me due to Olevel which is drawing near.thanks for th thought but, i know hw to manage my time.grrrr.i did ask him to make a choice, either he make sacrifices to spend some quality time together like we used to or just let me go&dont ever come back.6hrs had passed, there is still no news frm him.whatever la eh.

my muscles are still aching due to yterday's workouts in th gym.yterday's seminar was quite a bore too&on sat, i was needed to go for a seminar again.this time round, it was an entrepreneurship talk whereas yterday was abt motivation.haiya! i'm sick of hearing th talks laa dey, nothing seems to stay in my mind either.i think i'll end here, get well soon haziq&3more days to th click5!☺

wooohooo!

2008-05-26T16:50:00.000+08:00

you're always there when i need you.

you're always there, listening to my sorrows.

you're really th apple of my eye.

&i thankyou for that.

th bear&th chocs, i didnt expect that.

oh haziq.

♥♥♥

first of all, thankyou again for a marvelous outing yterday.i really had plenty of fun&for one day, i forget th pain i'm going through.th treat, th things&everything, a sincere gratitude frm me to you.i just dontknow why you treat me good.i did hurt you in th past&i really dont deserve all this.its sad when i recalled theres no pics of us.nxt outing for sure, i'm looking forward☺

theres still no news frm th guy, or should i say th ex?oh well, life has to move on.th silence is really killing me&keeping me in curiosity.i cant do this anymore, i just need to talk to him personally for th last time&get it over with.grrrrrr, is that so hard?fcuk.

malay O's done&i'm relieved.one-sixth of th burden is gone.i wanna have a movie marathon in june/july.anyone, anyone?lame.i need a holiday too, to ease my mind or else i cn die.gahhhh, wth am i talking abt?i dont quite understand either, i'm crapping. (clap hands)

school hols has just started, happy?nahhh, more to stress.intensive programme for 2wks&i still need to study, study&study over th next few mnths, its gonna be hell! th reason of studying like theres no tomorrow? OLEVEL, gahhhh.its just an Ordinary exam so why th sacrifices? to get 11pnts&qualify for masscomm of course☺

but its okay though, suffer2 first&happy2 at th end of th day.ignore th phrase, it is being translated frm malay (c-h-e-e-s-e)

take note:

i was forced to take th pics above.so haziq, happy nw?gaga.

i'm done, ok go.

feeling dwn; confession

2008-05-23T20:17:00.011+08:00

I'm just feeling dwn right nw, i didnt know whre to turn to.for 32mnths we've been together, through thicks&thin.i thought we could be forever but, it all has been crushed.we're drifting apart&i'll be disappointed if we were to end it too.ure nt th same before&ure nt there whenever i need u.u used to be someone whom i cn trust&always give me support which i crave for.u used to be there for me&we'll hangout as frequent as possible.but i'm sad to say that ure different nw, ure so engaged wit ur own life&never did u concern abt me anymore.calls are made rarely&i feel insecure.do u still love me deep?i wonder.

i promised that i'm going to forget u, but it really is hard.but i know time will heal me&i'm gonna be fine;

" i thought i couldnt live w/o u,

its gonna hurt when it heals to.

eventhough i really love u,

i'm gonna smile coz' i deserve to. "

this is exactly what i'm feeling right nw.i used to think what my life would be when theres nomore u.i really love u but i know one day, i must learn to let u go.i deserve all this due to th fact that i already give u a number of chances but, u disappoint me time&again.if i know this shall happen, i wont accept u back th previous time.its already too late to regret it nw, its done with&i should just learn to get over it.maybe my life would be better w/o u.3days w/o knowing what ure doing&never did i hear anything frm u, i guess this is th sign to just back off&move on w/o u by my side.

i just hope god will give me th strength to carry on with life.i dont want this to become a barrier where it blocks me to achieve good grades for Olevels.i musnt let him be th reason for my life becoming a disaster.i must prove to him that despite his absence, i could lead my life better.when in time he'll comeback, i'll make a clean conversation with him.its either change for th better or just get th hell outta my life.i'll do just whats best for me, its time for me to think about my life rather than stressing th hell outta me over ure pathetic problem.

i know i've been saying that i wont be updating my blog as frequent as possible but, this blog is whre i mostly pour everything out other than leaning on th friends etc.i also heard that by posting on blogs, one could actually improve th language.so basically, i'll just try this method.&ooh, david cook won th american idol.i'm disappointed.

till then;

random

2008-05-21T21:02:00.003+08:00

okeyy.th last post was basically written when i was merely breaking dwn.i did get a shocking news regarding fir&ofcourse, i didnt know where to turn to.mainly because it was so major&i dont even know what action to take.only god knows hw i'm feeling at that very moment&i just wish my life would just end.i was so lucky to have friends who gave useful opinions&those comforting really help.
i'm nw waiting for updates.i hope my instincts are wrong&that we cn still go on as strong as ever.whatever happen, i must move on&leave th burden behind.by being positive&always put a smile on my face, that is hw i'm going to live my life nw.
Olevel is coming&i really have a goal to achieve.my midyr result was already such a disappointment, i only pass 3subject.that really is a tragedy.wish me luck for th upcoming MT Olevel on monday&also th upcoming papers, i'm nervous.
i think i'll end here.i wont be updating frequently as my schedule will be tight.revisions, gym, hangouts; my life will be such a drag.
till here;

closing dwn;

2008-05-18T20:34:00.003+08:00

its th end nw.

i dontknow what th future might holds;

i've lost faith in life.

life for me has been going dwn th drain.

i just hope god will give me th strength;

strong enough to pull me through all this.

time will just heal me;

i want to be left alone, period.

gdbye for nw.

much love xoxo

wkends; movie

2008-05-12T18:35:00.004+08:00

wkends went fine.sat morning as usual, mendaki.basically, we did nothing.only 3turnup, pathetic.after th afternoon nap, i did went to th gym.i did some abs&legs workouts.i did thought of spying hubby after that but, i visited th saloon instead.i layered my hair back&thinning.th length is pretty much th same so its nt that obvious.

yterday's celebration was average.in th morning, i made brownies for mummy but it turnout to be below average.as a result, i rushed to buy a slice of cake dwnstairs.hubby did plan an outing for both of us but it was mother's day&i want to spend it with mother.it was such a waste, i've longed to have a proper outing with hubby though.grrrrrr.

mother's day plan actually was to head to junction8 to watch th sensasi celebrity but, uncle hated crowded places&we had our lunch at banquet cp instead.it was such a spread.after th windowshop at cp also, we went for bowling.

i did meet hubby late at night.i'm so missing him&i love him too.i did nag at him due to nt spending quality time with me.all he did was work, work, work&i'm irritatedly so tired.he kept on giving hopes&also make me wait restlessly.this cant go on forever, i need a break.

i did watch what happens in VEGAS justnw with th schoolgirls&i must say, it was awesomely rocking hillarious! ashton is hot, so is cameron.they really make such a great duo.

i also met hubby at civic mac for awhile, indeed he chased me away.he said hes needed to send alot of orders, wtf kn?i'm just plain lazy to elaborate on th arguing.after a 10minutes "talk"&20mins of waiting in total, i proceed in meeting th schoolgirls&headed off to amk hub just to kill th bore.hubby promised to call me up later after work&i bet he wont coz he dont have th patience to hear my nagging.he asked for it anyway, i just dontknow why i love to find faults with hubby nwadays.i felt a little guilty&at th same time, i'm scared.i'm just scared to lose him, again.urrrghhh/.

sa1's over&th results will be revealed tomorrow.nervous/scared?nahh, nt really.i'm prepared.

till here; i'm off.

mother's day; r'ship; exam

2008-05-08T17:19:00.006+08:00

who has been your bestfriend in th world?

there is noone who has done so much as,

MOTHER.

mother's day is in 3days time.we'll be celebrating out for sure, but th venue is still pending.i just want th day to be a memorable one for mother.i just love mother bits&pieces, who doesnt love their mothers right?random.
i was checking my inbox&suddenly, i feel like updating th blog.my day went well, only that hubby hadnt call me up due to his busy working schedule since yterday.i'm trying to be more understanding nw, i cant possibly kept on stocking him at work.trust is the most important thing in a r'ship&i guess, i cant leave th past behind.i'm trying to gain faith in our r'ship&i hope, my effort do pay off.th feelings are growing stronger by day, a few hrs of meeting him isnt enough.i really hope hubby will put aside some time for me after midyr.&talking about midyr, i cant wait till its over.chem paper justnw was a disaster, my carelessness were to blame.i just want to get over paper3&move on to paper1 on monday.wish me luck&oh, math paper2 tomorrow.i'm nervous.gahhhhhh.
after so long, i thought of updating my friendster profile.but, it was scheduled under maintenance.wth?! grrrrrr.but i manage to create a facebook accnt.i'm just eager to expose myself to a new surrounding.its nt that i had enough of those nonsense in my life, i just want to explore new things.i just love new adventures.i hope david archulleta will win th american idol season7, i think hes just th best.he do have th looks&th voice.&so, jason castro will be going hm tonight.up next would be syesha.th two davids will be in th top two for sure.but winner, DAVID ARCHULLETA! i cant wait.And, i'm addicted to an indon show.i'm watching th season1 on sensasi&season2 on sctv.actually, i'm confused.but who cares, th actors are hot! gaga.i want to have a movie marathon one of these days.what happen in vegas&speed racer, anyone?hoho.
till here;

hubby; exam wk.

2008-05-05T16:21:00.004+08:00

basically nw, i had no mood to revise+theres still no news frm hubby since yterday&yes, i'm worried.its nt as if he dont have th time to go hm etc.whre is he anyway?why he couldnt spare a minute just to call me up&inform me anything?grrrr, i just detest it when he make me wait.i'm tired.hes on standby&ofcourse, no stable schedule.but he could atleast call me up before proceeding to work right, damn.such an arse.

i just dontknow why i get so fcuked up with hubby easily this few days.i get so stressed up when he didnt call me up just for one day.but indeed, i should have gotten used to it already.in th past, getting calls frm him everyday is already a miracle.mybe i'm deeply in love with him+i did lose him once&i cant afford to lose him again.hell yes, it is a torture.

&&i miss spending plenty of quality time with him.th last we had such a fantastic time was th night of our previous anny, he brought me to riding.when shall be th nxt one?i'm craving for it&i've started to miss him already.hes occupied with work, work&more work.if nt at civic, it would be wdland mart or sp or yishun.when will he start to spend more time with me rather than work?5more mnts till my Olevel&his national service.i did explain things with him but his reply would be, its better off knowing that hes working rather than hes outside flirting.grrrrrr.whateverlaaa eh.

so far th exams was alryte.but still, a few more subjects to go.i'm gonna end here nw.i need to resume on revising my geog.&i dontknow why i'm addicted to indon songs nwadays frm ungu, matta&peterpan.wth?! k bye.

rashes;

2008-04-30T17:18:00.003+08:00

2papers dwn&th papers wasnt that bad.but th time was kind of short, i did rush for time actually.with no time to check the script thorughly, i hope i'll pass.grrrrr!

i should be heading to civic due to th fact that hubby's working there.but, my body was covered with rashes.its annoying, hw i wish i could just scratch it off.issshhk!

basically i've just reached hm frm th doctor's with mum accompanying me, atleast i dont look weird alone.i already applied th cream&ate th pills.i'll be off to bed in no time nw.

&&its just rashes everyone, nt th HFMD cases okey?its only minor.dont get th wrong idea.

tomorrow's labour day&i hope my rashes will be gone by morn.i wana meet hubby, like really2 urgent.a few hrs with him yterday isnt enough.&speaking of th devil, we've just put dwn th phone.basically he just reached hm frm work&he wana take his nap, maybe later we'll meet if th rashes reduced.it is still pending.&you know what he say about my rashes?he said that i ate too much toblerone yterday when with him&i'm allergic to chocs.nt only that, i did say i have rashes on my butt too&guess what he said?i'm gonna be like an ape if i kept on scratching! wth?grrrrr.

i did confessed my instincts to him yterday&yes, i'm relieved nw.th reason he didnt call me up last monday was due to th fact that he went to jb with the friends, he was way too tired&th road was also packed with vehicles btween th peak hrs.they then dcide to go hm at 4in th morn.

&the reason he didnt call me up yterday's noon was because of he woke up late&hes needed to rush to international building for his working schedule.i did bump into him while walking arnd his block, never did i expect to meet him as i was already dwn.i did check on him at sp mac&also wdland's mart mac earlier, but to no avail.it was indeed shocking.

theres already no secrets btween us, period.i just hope it'll stay that way aye?no more third-parties ok dear?grrrrr.

i think i'm gonna take a rest nw, till then folks(:

pissed;

2008-04-28T20:35:00.003+08:00

th weather's warm nwadays.i perspired alot, ate alot too.that feels wrong, grrrr.

2more days till th first paper, i've been studying extra hrs&i just hope i'll pass this exam.th exam are based on Olevel syllabus&if i clear all th tests, i'm already prepared for th Olevel.but i know i'm nt that fit for Olevel yet, th confident is there but nt th effort.its way to minimum&i know i need much more revision.5more mnths&i must try hard enough to revise more, attempt th 10-yr-series&ask for more prelims paper.i hope that way, i could score well aye?

Olevel art is still far frm finish.midyr's is still left with colour layouts&final piece.i'll finish th midyr's tmorrow, by hook or by crook.

i'm only left with geog&chem to revise on for midyr.i'll resume my geog right after this, if hubby didnt call me up to meet.

&&talking about hubby, i've been meeting him alternate days at mac.why mac?reason is because, he hd already quit on arnold's&continue to work at macdelivery.while hes sending orders, i'll be revising.if hes back, he'll distract me.but th revisions do work on me though, i'm more prepared for midyr nw.gaga.

basically, i'm hm after meeting hubby at mac+studying with zaty.i admit, we didnt really study.th mood isnt there.theres too many distractions&i'm just too happy to be able to spend some time with hubby.mainly because, my feelings for him is getting stronger by day.i dontknow why but at th same time, evil gets better cntrol of me.i kept on thinking that hes having an affair.but zaty's th one who relieves me, encouraging me to be positive&that hubby really is serious nw.i've gt to admit, he really changed.his time is spent mainly on work&if hes at work, he'll be dragging me along.so, he wont really have the time to fool arnd.right?gahhhh.

guess what?when he left me justnw, he was pissed.his face was irritated, like fuck.reason?th guys frm my school approached me&we hd some kind of conversation.i dont really watch his reactions closely, but zaty's th one who sense some kind of jealousy frm hubby.why am i so stupid?i should have known that he'll get pissed&so i must keep a distance frm them.but why is he so petty?grrrrr.&why must he get so worked up?issshhhk!

he said that he'll call me up once he hd his bath&we'll meet.till nw, theres no news.have he reach hm, or is he out with some girl.gahhhh! i hate him! why must he make me wait?grrrrrr.

i'm out!

&&happy belated 16th nina!(:

th days;

2008-04-20T12:20:00.001+08:00

I'm currently updating my art research for midyr still.midyr is in 2wks time, i'm nt so prepared.physics&geog hmwrks are left untouched, by hook or by crook i must finish it up by tomorrow morning.its sister's 12th bday today&we'll be celebrating out later.

yterday was canberrans' day, as appointed i did the reception.i was late due to noone has the initiative to wake me up.the 962bus was also taking its own sweet time, damn.if i know, i should have walked.grrrrr! overall, it was tiring.i ran up&dwn as to give the names of the VIPs at the hall.but most of the time, i did nothing.still at the end of the day, it was such an experience.i did meet hubby for a while&god, i miss him!

last friday, the plan was to study at wdlands mart mac.as expected we didnt&atlast, we walked arnd causeway pt&civic cntre.there, we encountered several funny things; frm a prson's farting to my stupid reaction at the toilet.it was hillarious&only we know what actually happened.at night, i did went to religious class.&also, i did get an unexpected call frm someone whom i know last feb.god knows what he want, i dont bother.

hubby's gonna go for NS soon, very very soon! he had received the letter&it was already late for him to defer, grrrrr.i thought i could spend my time with him more but, it was such a disappointment.i acted as if its nothing when i heard the news.but deep dwn, i was whining.he also gave 1001complaints.i should already be prepared in the first place, hes 20 anyway&he cant possibly keep running away.i just hope the remaining time spent with him would be worthwhile.

till then;

random.

2008-04-16T21:04:00.001+08:00

hey, i dontknow why i'm in the mood to blog all of a sudden.i'm updating my art research&suddenly, here i am.basically, school was great! the groupmates never fail to put a smile on my face.the rehearsal was kinda a waste of time.but i've gotten myself a new blazer, i'm glad.

&ofcourse, dearest fir did make my day.i did spend some time with him last night.&unexpectedly, i get a scolding frm him after so long.since the tragedy, never did he became so worked up over my blardy attitude.he even said those three words atlast&by looking in his eyes, i could sense the sincerity.you know he didnt utter those three words since we're close to eachother a mnth ago, i'm touched.we've settled dwn for nw but i dontknow what future might hold, i just hope for the best.it all depends on my fate though.nw i know the actual fact, i do love him but i'm nt ready to take the risk.i'm just nt totally prepared for what might happen to me, if history were to repeat itself.i'll be dying, prhaps?grrrrrrr.

today shall mark our 30th mnth anny.that really prove hw fast time flies.i really learnt alot in this r'ship.through thicks&thin, i'm in a process in becoming a stronger prson.whatever happen, i'm gonna treasure those times i spent with him.hes the apple of my eyes, his touch is just enough to give me the strength&his grips manage to give me a sense of security.that really is my weakness.i could easily fall into his trap, w/o realising anything.once bitten, twice shy.gahhhh.

i may sound like a fool, accepting fir back again after what he'd done.but noone could actually know what exactly i'm going through.its hard for me to forget him.everyone makes mistakes in their life&i believe, he really made a huge mistake during that three mnths.maybe i'm partly at fault, ignoring him for my own benefits&maybe hes too lonely.but wth?its all in the past&i really hope he change for the better.i'm also trying to put my ego aside.but i know i need to focus on my studies&yes, fir has been monitoring me.i'll strive hard&achieve a diploma in masscomm.insya'allah, a degree too.

till here, i'm gonna watch television&revise chem later at night.

whatever;

2008-04-15T17:10:00.000+08:00

regret?disappointed?heartbreak? whatever, you know karma.i dont need any man to make me feel whole.i dont think i'm mature enough to be in a r'ship anyway.if one could feel glad or lost in love at the same time, i think i'm better off alone.carefree, i need mercy.

i dont know why i feel restless&my mind is full of rubbish.i thought of studying, but the mood isnt there&so, i just edit the blog&do some research for art midyr.maybe later at night, i'm gonna revise some physics&do the wrkshts.theres a test tomorrow&i'm finish in the note-taking for all topics.maybe i could score well by doing some ten-yr series.upnext, gonna revise the chem.&then, followed by ss&geog.

midyr is arnd the corner, but i'm nt so particular about it.still, i'm gonna do my very best.take it as a preparation for Olevels.

the wkends just fine.went to jb with the relatives on sat&expo johnlittle sale on sunday with the family.i should be meeting fir last sunday&yterday but too bad, i decided to ignore his calls.mainly because, i want him to feel the pressure i've been through whenever theres no calls&msges frm him.i'm sure he really is pissed off nw, i dont give a damn.but actually, i'm confused.i cant figure out my feelings for him.at one point i feel like i'm crazy over him&at the nxt point, i detest him to the core.call me a dumb or a fool, he cheated on me before laa dey&why i still think about him?grrrrrr.

till here;

cb.

2008-04-11T13:01:00.005+08:00

i'm pissed off! like really.i did found out something&hell, i'm fcukin mad.i should have see it coming anyway.a liar will always be a liar, no matter hw hard one is willing to change.to hear all this frm other ppl's mouth&nt frm him, really2 make me feel embarassed.whre shall i put my face?at one point i thought that he'll change&everything would be as per normal, but my insinct isnt true.whatever it is, i must prove that i cn live w/o him by my side.pathetic moron, cb!

celebration; recap

2008-04-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

alryte, sorry for the hiatus moment.i was too busy to on the comp for the wk.school, study outings&the celebration.i'm 16, like finally! gaga.

i spent my last moment of 15yrs of age with fir.atleast he managed to spend his time with me.&yes, my wish did come true.

my last wkend was spent with the fam on sat to twn&m'sia too.on sunday was spent with the relatives for aunt's openhse&a mini-celebration was held.met fir on the first moment of turning 16&i'm just glad he made it.to know that he actually remembered my bday, is already a miracle.

thanks for all the wishes+belated ones my dearest friends.i really appreciate it all.i'll treasure all the gifts&will always remember the time we spent together.my monday morning was spent in school as usual&napfa test later in the afternoon after ASP.to have napfa on one's bday was ridiculous.but i managed to get myself either grade A&B&C for all 5stations.but i need to buckup on my 2.4km run in order to get a gold.grrrrr.i had a spread at night.3slice of pizza&lasagne, i'm contented.all i do is eat,eat,eat.i'll gain weight for sure.i did went to brasbasah&nlb last tuesday in the late afternoon.i did head off to campfire for the sec2camp at night too.it wasnt as gd as lastyr or our batch earlier.but with the peeps, it was worthy.

i still had the cramps due to the 5stations till today, gahhhh.

yterday i had my 16hrs of sleep, marvellous i must say.atlast, after so long, i had a proper or should i say, a very long hours of sleep?i had no school justnw due to home-based learning but was needed to go online for assignments.i only managed to do maths as i had problems uploading the rest of the subjects.so pathetic! &the outing for justnw was cancelled but i went out studying at mcdonald's wdland mart instead.it was freezing cold.

tomorrow will be the full-dress rehersals for canberrans day.i need to pretend&usher the guests.so dragging!

till nxt time;

*nt much pics frm the celebration, my batt kept running low&my charger was with sabi, nxt yr perhaps.gaga.

school;

2008-04-03T22:31:00.002+08:00

alright, the week was spent wisely with the girls.we went out study every nw&then.school is pressurising me though, i'm just glad i cn cope despite the problems i'm facing.a load of work is being given out, but i still manage to complete them all.basically, i just came back frm school.the time was spent to fill in the malay wrksheets&submit the file.it was all thanks to those who didnt bring the file, including me.gaga.the malay teacher was really pissed off, i did it unintentionally.i really forget all about the filing thingy, i apologise.

&&i'm involved in canberran's day nxt 2wk but god-knows-what i'll be doing.its our last yr to attend this kind of event, i must nt miss it then.

plenty of things happened justnw, it was really hillarious.wont elaborate much on that, i'm just lazy.despite the glummy faces&sad-ness which filled the atmosphere early in the morning, it turned into giggles&laughter at the end of the day.moodswings, i guess.but only we know what actually happen.gugugaga.

i'll end here then.i'm needed to wakeup by4&meet the girls at mac for breakfast&study for a while.gdnight(:

wkends; tired

2008-03-31T22:15:00.013+08:00

okeyy, recalling the wkends.basically, i woke up as early as 5am to study with sabi on sat.then at9am, i went for mendaki.at noon, i did some chores&even took some nap.i did accompany brother to marsiling&altered his jeans.hell, we waited for an hour&half for the 856 bus to head home but, to no avail! i told him to take whatever bus that arrived first&as usual, his subborn-ness get controlled over him.i planned to cab-bed home, that stingy brother of mine rejec-ted indeed.idiot! atlast, he gave in&we took 178 to wdlands interchange, or is it 168?gahhhh.it doesnt really matter nw.

i was supposed to meet fir that very night but he went to work at the last minute.we managed to meet at 3am in the morning though.i thought we really are settled over everything but, i was wrong.just when i thought things would be fine, problems kept crop-ping up, issshhhk!

i did went to civic justnw, the plan was to study.but we're just nt in the mood.we ate at KFC&walk-ed to admiralty.halfway, we decide to take 912&send zaty off to meet the babylove.it was when i saw fir cleaning up his bike under his void deck.i was told that he'll be working&indeed, he was there wiping off his bike.wtf?! he didnt even bother to call me up, i was so frustrated! nw i know i couldnt trust him, wait till he called me.i'm sure to wallop him! grrrrrrr.

i'm sorry haziq for cancell-ing the plan to ton.do inform me earlier if ure confirmed next time.

i did went to a marriage yterday.the food was superb! really.we walk-ed at tpmall too.theres alot of hunks i must say.but so what?it dont matter.

alryte nw, i'm gonna do my hmwrk.april starts tomorrow, gahhh! that is fast!

till here&a wk more to my birthday!

so what?gahhhh.

the pics with the baby(:

did slack right after eng asp, the above was the result of bore-dom(:

study!study!study! friendship.

2008-03-28T23:18:00.004+08:00

okeyy nw, i've started some revision yterday.i hoped the method will work for me aye?

yterday i studied with sabi, at mac till late night.&justnw was with syha, at civic.siblings?gaga.i must say, they are such a great companion to be with.zaty&reen&haziq, when will be our turn?time is running out, gaga(:

so far school&life is much better, despite the fact that a pathetic moron will always ruin my day.sometimes i really detest him so much, i swear he'll die sooner.but at the same time, the past kept remeniscing&i'll missed the old him.gaaahhh, i know its impossible&i'm trying my best to erase the past.the surrounding change, people do too.i therefore need to plan ahead, so that i wont be lacking behind.all i need is to avoid him frm nw on, oh god! pls help me, make me a stronger prson.with O's nearing, i need to put all this aside.r'ships cn wait, grrrrrr.

theres ups&dwns in life, same goes for friendship.its normal for friends to argue/quarrel with one another, its just how you handle it&reconcile back together.every problem has a solution, it only takes time to settle the matter.its a waste to let the friendship goes dwn the drain, the memories we had will always remain.thus, one day we'll realize that we need someone we call a "friend", to share our stories of joy&sorrows.i cherish every single one of you&i hope things will get better btween all of us.all of us are stressed over school&stuff, i hope we wont be drifting apart.maybe i dont quite understand but, everything happens for a reason.i know things will get better, just relax&take it easy.

i'm off to sleep nw, i'll be heading to mac&study later at 4 in the morning.

gdnyte(:

school.

2008-03-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

first of all, HAPPY B'DAY HAZIQ! may u be blessed with joy&laughter, best wishes.

okeyy, school nwadays is getting better each day.with the classmates' jokes&etc, it does make my day.i'm planning to get started in revising my sec3&sec4 work, i'm tensed.april is near&i'm left with 6more mnths till O's, thats hw fast time flies.gahhh!

i'm planning to ton frm late night till early morning to catch up academically, one of these days.i got this idea frm my brother of mine, who used to follow this method when O is nearing.i just hope it shall work on me, with whom&to where is still pending.any ideas anyone?

eng is more fun nwadays&so is malay.maybe the methods of teaching is getting better each lesson.art is a drag&so is ss.despite all that, maths&physics is getting more confusing.with matrix&electric circuit, i'm doomed! chem&geog is OK, i'm catching up well.

i did watch "zoom hongkong" on suria justnw, hillarious i must say! huda&nurul really make a great duo.i just cant help myself by laughing out loud over their funny reactions&jokes.it was sad to know that was the last episode, i'm gonna miss them for sure.spore also won lebanon 2-0 justnw, incredible.congrats to the lions!

i realize that cyberworld has become such a bore&tv shows are becoming much more amusing.i guess i'm just gonna update the cyberworld if i have the time.school has taken up most of my time nwadays&i just cant wait till i'm done with this.i wanna go masscomm! grrrrr.

till here, i wanna hear muttons at midnight over the radio.gdnyte(:

sport fest;gd friday wkends

2008-03-23T21:10:00.001+08:00

gd friday's wkends went fine, thought of catching up academically but i didnt as expected.my time was spent outdoors all along.lets recap:
thursday was sportfest.we did win nothing as we competed with a tough class.still, i enjoyed playing all those games with lots of giggles&laughters made.i did hurt my thumb during soccer game&my muscles were aching the next day.i did lost my wallet though.gahhh! unlucky day i must say.the night was spent at expo with mum&indeed, i ate alot.
friday on the other hand, was spent at m'sia.it was packed with vehicles i must say.a public holiday, what to expect?bought groceries&etc at pndan market.i did eat alot too, frm chappati&roti canai&ice kachang.marvellous, i must say!
haziq dcide nt to disturb me again&i was sad ofcourse.i never ever want to lose a friend like him.if i could see it coming long before, i shouldnt agree in taking a step further.but what to do, its over&i should plan ahead, grrrrr.

i did get an unexpected call late night on friday&it was fir.i had a shock of my life.according to him, we're an item.but i didnt recall that i've given him the chance.

sat was then spent with fir after mendaki&expo with the fam at nyte.fir planned to head town but it was raining&we just slack at his crib, more to void deck prhaps.he fetch me frm hm&we headed to yishun industrial park to get his stickers.did i mention he just bought a new bike?goddammit! i really hate it when hes having a bike, he'll go back to mixing arnd with those clowns.grrrrr! a friend joined us moments later&he brought some lunch frm mac.i wasnt having any quality time with him due to some reasons, i'm just going with the flow.

i'm confused on what r'ship are we having right nw.his mum did mention that he is still having an affair with that girl but when asked, he denied&said he already left her behind.i just dont get it, i didnt know what is actually going through his mind.i'm just tired, i had enough.no more tears, no more pain, no more games;i'm over it all.it doesnt really matter nw, i'm neutral.everything happens for a reason&i believe in karma.i'm hating him day by day, no use having him arnd anyway.

i went to grandpa's hse justnw.its been a while since i met him, kinda miss him&as usual, i get some money.gaga.
theres school tomorrow&i hadnt touch the hmwrk.will be doing my ezlinkcard tomorrow&buying new lens for the mnth&printer ink.i need to print more research for art&print some lyrics, gahhh.i need to buy a new wallet for goodness sake.
i'm done nw.till then;

a mnth; selfish dcision; school/

2008-03-19T19:52:00.009+08:00

19032008; it should mark our 1st mnth.
but, i did make a selfish dcision that is to put the r'ship on hold.maybe i didnt think it thoroughly, hw cn i ended it on the day before the anny?thats selfish! yes i was stressed up, my mind was in a mess&all i think about is supposed to be for my own gd.i need a free mind&a free soul, when did i ever became a self-centered prson?goddammit! i did think that having a r'ship is a waste of time&i need to put all my focus just in my studies.i also feel haziq&me just didnt have things in common.we're like world's apart, its just hard to explain.i thought i already know everything about him as we were such closefriends before but, i was wrong.all i cn say is that, i'm under a whole lot of pressure&i just think too much.we're new in this r'ship&i should have given some time to adjust, know more about eachother's interests&character.it takes time to know someone&patience is the key.the thing is, i dont have any patience in me&i just want things instantly.im trying to settle dwn, i need the time to stop moving, gaaah.
i'm sorry&thanks for understanding me.call me a fool or whatever, i deserve it anyway.

school was kinda quiet, only 24 turn up.we've gotten the clastee&all i could say is that, fcuk that teeshirtman! he did make plenty of errors&the teacher-in-charge didnt get the classtee, darnn! tomorrow is sportfest&i find it a drag.i need to wakeup early as early as 4.30 i supposed, gahhhh.but i get to participate in soccer, floorball&badminton.hahaha! i'm excited&at the same time, nervous.i'm just scared i'll be like a fool playing those games.i did practice soccer yterday&i got hit by the ball upteen times.it was hard ball btw&ofcourse it aches.i just hope we'll be having lots of fun&laughter, cant wait! gaga.

we did cleanup the classrm justnw&update the noticeboard.we even browse those neoprints we took 3yrs back.its damn hillarious i tell you! those nerdy attitude&retarded-ness in us, gaga.a lot of funny things happen too, frm nina wearing her lover's pants, reen&sabi taking those "lelong stuffs", i laughed till my jaws hurt.i'm glad that i have silly friends yet all of them are wonderful indeed.that includes zaty&syha too ok?nt forgetting the classmates who make my day w/o fail.&&the list just goes on&on.i appreciate their appearance&cherish the whole bunch of them.
till then, i'm tired.

picture of the day: haaha.

wkends+start of term two.

2008-03-17T21:30:00.004+08:00

first of all; thnx dear for the movie treat&get well soon nek nuri!

wkends was spent wisely wit darling on sat&fam on sunday.

basically, we went twn to catch horton&i must say, the movie was hillarious.with childrens' laughter&all, the surrounding was super amazing.as per usual, we walked frm orchard to dhobyghaut&that is where we take the train to clake quay.the night was spent there.

yterday, went to NUH&visit nek nuri.she got involved in an accident with a truck&she was badly hurt.entering the operation theatre time&again, it was scary! only god knows how the pain was, i felt sorry for her.

i wasnt in the mood for school justnw due to some pathetic goddamn reasons.but the badminton tournament did revive the mood though.we lost to 5n1 so badly, sorry didi.i was nervous&idky.i'm sucha dumb, didnt manage to defend properly.gaaahhh!

the stress for O's suddenly appeared in my mind&i should have started preparing notes for some subjects.but still, i hadnt had the time, i've been wasting time outdoors during the holidays&hell yeahs,i need to manage my time properly frm nw on.i shall just freeze my frenster, myspace, msn&blogger accnt.but cn i?thats the issue.

ok then, i wana watch my chinese show&yes, i wana watch maroon5 live! gaaaaahhhhhh.

MAROON 5;

2008-03-14T13:15:00.002+08:00

isnt adam just hot?goshh!

75bucks for the cheapest tickets kinda nt worth it.

its nt as if we'll get the upclose right?

still, i've submit a number of entries to win the meet&greet session.

plsplspls let me win&go meet them live!

gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

I'M DESPERATE!

♥

random holidays;

2008-03-14T12:50:00.001+08:00

sorry for the MIA season.its due to the fact that i'm in a holiday mood&just couldnt find a time to sit dwn in front of the computer&update about almost everything, it would be just plain boring.

so wth?! monday wil be the start of term2&i've nt been a gdgirl in revising my work during the holidays.frm chalet to visiting the relatives to doing workouts at the gym&more window-shopping everyday, really kept me busy.i've been sleeping long hours too since the start of holidays, all thanks to the cold&rainy season we encountered the past few days.i'll be sick for sure due to the fact that i've been playing wit the rains, one after another.

despite all that, 3/4 of my assignments are complete&i'll be finishing the remaining by end of today.wkends are occupied though.&imy bby, i'm just glad sat is just 24hrs away(:

&&yes, 6more days till the 1stmnthanny!

ily haziq, &thnx for updating the previous post.

Blog Sharing ; Haziq&Atiqa

2008-03-11T15:56:00.004+08:00

It's been a long time since atiqa posted on her blog due to the fact that she's currently busy with schoolwork and stuffs. So, on behalf of her, i'm taking over for the time being. I'm kinda new to this blogging thingy cos i used to write on a diary which is called the "The Newpaper Diary"; u know i know ehr syng ? huhu~

Life for us is great as we tend to love each other more&more each day. I've been missing my dear so0 much cos i've been working the whole week to earn money and pay my bills. I hope u understand dear. Nevertheless, i will always kip in touch with you kay dear?

Dear, i love u so0 much! Only g0d knows how much i love u and how i feel bout u. U're part of my life now and i won't regret having u cos i waited for 3 yrs and finally on 190208; ure mine! It's like a phenomenon for me cos i really didn't expect us frm fren to closest fren and finally in a r'ship. But i really am happy being with you. All those years i waited for u really is worth. Thanks for having faith in me and i promise that i won't leave u dear.

Talking about promises, we don't really know wat future holds rite ? That's why i don't really like making promises to someone but u're an exception! I dare make promises to you cos i really love u alot. I wanna be with you 4eva. If i do break the promises, u can curse me till death.

Till here; i love you atiqa!

more result; wednesday

2008-03-06T18:50:00.005+08:00

okeyy.i failed my combined humanities, as expected.a just pass for eng&a b3 for art, grrrrr.

school was crazy nwadays, the classmates keeps on giving me laughter over their crappology.i laughed till my jaws hurt.we had a new seating arrangement&unfortunately, i've gotten myself 3"wonderful"groupmates, darngg! they are quite geeky&boring.i did exchange my seat though w/o teacher's approval.but he didnt utter a word justnw&i assume he give the green light! wheee~

i did meet darling yterday after track&field.i just love you laa bby.thnx for bear-ing my attitude ok dear?i know i cn be a pain in the ass.thnx for always be there through the obstacles in life.to know you for 3yrs nw&to be with you atlast, is already quite a miracle.whatever it is, i'm just fortunate to have you in my life.

i did watch dvds justnw.i'm almost through watching stepup2 when it stuck halfway, dammit! but those dance steps was fantastic! i then continued watching a dvd but it was ps.i love you.it was so so sweet, hw the hero planned everything to surprise his lovely wife on her bday through letters&poems.i was touched&even cried myself out.

nwadays, my appetite was so great! i tend to eat alot&i duno why.maybe i'm so over the moon to falling in love! gaga.till here, i need to finish up my compo which was supposed to due last monday.

p.s, i love you haziq!(:

result; random

2008-03-03T18:46:00.000+08:00

okeyy.school was crapp! i've gotten my commontest results&it was kinda sucky.i did studied geog&what i get was a pathetic 10 out of 25! gahhhh.irrelevant?whatever.

a b3 for Emaths&c5 for science.eng&ss&art are still on hold, grrrrrr.

7more mnths to buckup.a wk of march holidays shall be the time for catching up lastyr's syllabus, urrrghhh.&&i wont elaborate further coz it'll only add to more anger, gaaaahhh!

malay handout's done&will be doing compo later.i did borrow some books at the library justnw.will read it if have the leisure time.

till here;

&&i did amend some changes, guguggaga(:

march, wkends;

2008-03-02T23:02:00.002+08:00

alrights.the first post of the mnth, cool-ness!(:

commontest over; i did get my malay paper&i got a B4.pathetic?i know, gahhh! more results will be revealed this coming wk, tomorow to be exact.i'm nervous, what if i did badly?urrrghh, ridiculous.

i just came back frm jb&yes, i did go to a wedding at lagun sari in the afternoon.the food was fabulous! especially the goreng pisang ala america.i did take a few rounds, yummmyy!

yterday's outing was fantastic! i did enjoy the meeting ok darling?we went to vivocity for window-shopping&thanks for the time dear, ily bby

okey then, i'm gonna try to do eng compo.&then, off to sleep.

gdnight, human beings;

boredom; random

2008-02-27T12:44:00.000+08:00

alrights, 2more papers to go&thats it.CA1 over! its nt to be relieve yet, Olevel hasnt been taken.gahhh! physics was tricky&i'm so nt looking forward for chem this friday, be prepared for the worst.but i hope i pass overall, really.tomorrow is art theory paper, nothing to revise actually.gotta use the time for chem i suggest.

i did follow daddy's advice, went hm after the two papers.my face is recovering&yes, i had panda's left eye! better than yterday i suppose.

due to boredom, i did edit the blogskin somehw.

till then, i need ample rest(:

random huh?i know.

sick; relationships

2008-02-26T12:20:00.006+08:00

okey.i just reached hm frm the doctor's.he said i had skin irritations&thats why my face was reddish&itchy, to be specific.it was reddish since yterday but it became worst justnw&yes, i was disturbed by my dearest classmates.drunkard?sunburn?allergies?gaahhh!
i've got some pills&cream.a 2days mc was given too, for today&tomorrow.basically i went hm after the maths paper&yes, thnx for the effort girls.sorry to be a burden to u girls.

&&i didnt manage to meet darling today.gahhh! what a waste; diary, diary, diary! issshhk.gaga, imy la seyy.fir still call on me&hoped to be just friends.according to him, he still need my support&motivation.what the hell kn?see, what goes arnd comes arnd.serve him right la ehr? nw i have darling by my side&i know he'll shower me love&happiness.ily darling&like you said, i wont give in to his honeyed words ok?
4papers dwn, so far so gd.should i go to school tomorrow?thats the issue.i have mc&if i were to follow my heart, i wont go for sure! but daddy insisted me to go to school&treat this period like Olevel.once ure absent, there wont be any retakes.alright daddy, i'll go.no harm right?i'll take half day again then.

i've just applied the cream on my face&eaten the pills.i'm gonna take a long nap nw.once i'm awake, i'll readup my notes for tomorow's physics&malay test.till here.

the wk; the life

2008-02-24T20:24:00.001+08:00

alrytes.i've been mugging at night&writing some notes the past wk.tomorrow will be the start of exams&yes, i'm nervous.i just hoped the paper would be easy&my revision would help me to get atleast a pass.i'm nt really that prepared as i tend to slack, thnx to the lazy-ness&those moodswings.whatever it is, i should thank that very one prson who gave me useful advices.&yes, i was referring to u, haziq dearest(:

i had so much fun yterday.thnx for those treats, the beef lasagne&the movie.we planned to watch the ps.i love you but it was sold out&we then dcide on the sneak peak movie, the eye english version, on which jessica alba was the lead actress.basically it was based on the eye japanese movie but there were only some alterations made.we walked frm orchard to somerset to dhobyghaut to cthall&lastly, raffles place.of course there were pit-stops in btween.tiring?nahh . . . exhilirating :)
hw i wish the time would just stop when i'm with u, haziq.i wana read the diary&pls bring it on our nxt meeting.i'm curious.

that bastard did call on me again&yes, it was fir.giving excuses that he went m'sia to stay with the uncle&had already nothing to do with that girl.a friend of mine who went to the same school as him said he was attached with a girl living at kallang&i believe it was her.what a fool to still keep in touch with me when the fact is, he already had a hottie like her.is he having some split personality?oh god, since when did i say i'm still ur girl?move on la asshole.urrrgggh.
&i wont give in to u anymore my dear, so pls stop calling me! fuck.
my dearest haziq, dont u worry.i already make up my mind&i'm nt going to leave u.ure already a part of my life&i cant bear to lose u.so pls, have faith in me.

i'm having a break frm studying nw.the plan to visit the grand's was cancelled due to the fact that the family dcided to stay in for today.
till nw&imy bby!